Why DILFS are such fantasy fodder for hot-blooded females
There's something about a gorgeous man who's also a devoted dad that ticks all the boxes for women
What's better than a tanned, topless, ripped, six pack-wielding, fully objectified male? A tanned, topless, ripped, six pack-wielding, fully objectified male holding a baby. And that's because a man with a pram is the equivalent for women of us showing up naked.
The latest Instagram frenzy is an account called DILFS of Disneyland, which is racking up followers in the hundreds of thousands because who wants to look at pictures of other people's #exoticholidays, or #giganticmilkshakes or #inspiringyogapositions when you can watch hot dads toting their tots in front of the Cinderella castle?
For anyone who doesn't know, DILF is an acronym for "Dad I'd Like To ..." (derived from the more prevalent MILF acronym for hot moms).
These designer dads can be seen wearing white, bicep-exposing tees and tight jeans, aviator sunglasses and Havaianas, pushing a pram along the Keyes Avenue art mile on a Saturday morning, or playing catch with their toddler in Parkhurst or at the Biscuit Mill in Cape Town.
Their natural habitat is the park, kid hoisted on shoulders. But during the summer months they're equally at home at the public pool, where they secretly compete over who can launch their kid highest into the air.
And if you're lucky enough to live near one, the beach is undisputed DILF heaven. Watching dads splashing with their surfboards and kids in the breakers triggers a fantasy in every hot-blooded female akin to having her kids' school fees miraculously paid ad infinitum.
Wherever there's a DILF you'll find a group of swooning females, surreptitiously spying on said specimen out of eyeshot of the inevitable partner. Yes, only in our fantasies is the DILF single - it's basic biology. And the partner of a DILF is very often a MILFy wife, so beware or be home-wrecker.
DILFS have one obvious advantage over MILFs: they don't have to actually carry and bear the child they look so hot looking after.
If, after the advent of fatherhood, they no longer have the six-pack that made them fantasy fodder in the first place, they have only themselves to blame.
But DILFs have it easier than MILFs in other ways, too. DILFs get to be gentle and confident at the same time, and it's a total turn-on.
Whether they're being all buddy-buddy with their sons or sweet and protective with their daughters, any sincere interaction with the little ones renders them irresistible.
According to columnist Shawna Cohen, MILFs have only one basic requirement: physical hotness.
"There's none of that internal dialogue that most women have when it comes to sexy dads. When was the last time you spotted two guys checking out a hot mom and saying 'Wow, isn't she amazing with the kids, she's so devoted and committed - that totally gets me hot'. MILFs just need a hot ass, but DILFs can be more than that."
So, with that in mind, here's to the DILFS who brighten our sidewalks, beaches, stages and shopping centres. DILFS like Riky Rick, Reason, Janez Vermeiren and Nicky van der Walt, to name a few.
And to those further afield - Ronaldo, Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling, Pharrell Williams, Lenny Kravitz and Idris Alba ... and to Pierce Brosnan, Jeff Bridges, Mick Jagger, Shona Ferguson and Sipho "Hotstix" Mabuse, for whom we're creating a new acronym, GRILFS, Grandfathers I'd Like to ...