Bentayga Diesel SUV: living the #BentleyLife will cost you nearly R3m

I thought diesel was the official fuel of bulldozers and devils and cheats? So why on earth would I want a Bentley powered by the stuff?

Um, do you really care what people think? I sure as hell don't - especially not when you can, according to the Bentley PR team, potentially squeeze 1,000km worth of range out of an 85-litre tank of the stuff. Although actually achieving this out in everyday driving conditions might be something of a stretch, of course.

Still, the 10.7l/100km figure I notched up during my lengthy test drive session down in the Western Cape remains pretty damn impressive considering that the massive Bentayga Diesel tips the scales at nearly three tons.

Three tons you say? Jeez, it must be lethargic to say the least.

Well that's what I thought. However, in practice the Bentayga Diesel proves a deceptively quick battleship in a straight line (100km/h comes up in under five seconds) thanks to its torquey triple-charged V8 motor. Triple-charged - that means it packs three turbos, right? Wrong.

Here you get two conventional units backed up by a clever 48-volt 'electric supercharger' that spins to eliminate nearly all that pesky turbo-lag you encounter at low revs. It works well and gives the engine a strong and immediate pull. It's smooth too. So smooth in fact that it doesn't feel - or sound - like a diesel at all.

As such it's easy to reach licence-revoking speeds without knowing it. Yep, refinement can be a double-edged sword. But then again, if you can afford a Bentley you can afford to fix the fallout.

OK, so it might be fast but I bet it doesn't handle very well. Am I right?

You, my friend, are spot-on. During the press drive I got an opportunity to aim my Bentayga Diesel up the curvy and extremely technical Helshoogte Pass that links Stellenbosch to Pniel. And after about the third bend it was clear that hard cornering and swift changes in direction are not what this Bentley exactly revels in.

That heavy iron-block V8 riding up front does the handling no favours and as such this oil-burning Bentayga displays some serious nose-ploughing, tyre-squealing understeer on the limit. More so than any other car I have driven in a very long time.

Suffice to say I quickly lost interest and so did it. This is acceptable though because the average Bentley owner looks for grace not cornering pace. And when it comes to the former the Bentayga Diesel delivers.

Yeah I was about to ask you about that!

I bet you were. Seriously, when it comes to ride comfort the Bentayga Diesel is at the top of its aristocratic game. Equipped with self-levelling air suspension and continuous damping control, it literally floats over asphalt imperfections like some kind of majestic hovercraft.

As mentioned before, refinement levels are otherworldly with hardly a trace of wind or road noise to interfere with the sweet and detailed sounds pouring from that (optional) 18-speaker Naim sound system (apparently the most powerful audio setup offered in an SUV at the moment).

It's this incredible insulation from the outside world that makes the Bentayga Diesel the consummate gobbler of road miles: a stilt-wearing Gran Turismo that will cross countries and continents with aplomb.

Making the journey extra agreeable are some of the most comfortable seats my lanky frame has sampled in quite some time. Heated and ventilated, they also offer up a full massage function. It's a class act.

While overall fit and finish is what you'd expect from a machine wearing the famous flying 'B' badge, there are parts of the cabin that certainly don't seem in keeping with the nigh-on R3-million price tag.

The indicator stalks, ventilation switchgear as well as the plastic surrounding the gearlever and 8-inch touchscreen all seemed disappointingly low rent if you ask me.
Ditto the infotainment system. Bentley is using an adapted version of Audi's previous generation MMI system and it's seriously clunky and counterintuitive.

So it's the king of oil-burning SUVs then?

Well from a pure velocity point of you, yes, it definitely is. Be it top speed or the all-important zero-to-100 dash, no other diesel-powered SUV on the market can touch this particular Bentayga model once you decide to put your foot down.

Be this as it may, it faces some serious opposition from some arguably better-rounded and slightly less expensive rivals such as the Range Rover Autobiography SDV8: a luxury megalith that I think not only feels a bit sharper but also, specifically when it comes to the interior, seems consistently better built.

It does, however, certainly not share quite the same brand cachet - a caveat that will ultimately steer many a buyer into the seat of the Bentley Bentayga.