Keyboard heroes are the prawns of the social media sea: bottom feeders. These folks will find any and every way to try and turn a positive situation into something sour and dour. Usually protected by the bravado that comes with the anonymity that the internet can sometimes provide, they will go after those who are having a better time than they are - which is seemingly everyone.
But as much as social media remains the breeding ground for Salty Saul and Bitchy Betty, people whose cups of bitterness overfloweth is not limited to the myriad online sites. No. Party poopers are all around us.
Take, for example, this week when those who do not come in peace decided to try to steal the shine from what was an auspicious occasion: the delivery of the annual Mandela Lecture by one Barack Obama.
Obama is undoubtedly one of the most brilliant orators that the world has ever seen - and here he was, on our shores to help us mark Tata's centenary.
But in all of this, party poopers still found a way to come through and spread their negativity, asking those of us who were thrilled at witnessing one of history's most prestigious statesmen to curb our enthusiasm as they suddenly became political experts who dissected his presidential terms, and questioned the morals of any who dared show a level of excitement.These are probably the same miserable bastards that frantically trolled Patrice Motsepe for spending R100-million to bring Barcelona and Lionel Messi to South Africa (because he could have used the money saving the world, they alleged), but then were the first in line to get a ticket when they became available.The same brethren will suggest you have no furniture in your apartment which is why you can afford your new Golf GTI. They are the skeem that will see your happy snaps from the On The Run Tour which you are attending in Paris and suggest you must have gotten a blesser to afford your holiday.Sadly, bitter people are everywhere. They are in our families (we all have that aunt), our friends and randoms you won't even remember after a minute. These people are constantly trying to bring you down to their level when they get a whiff of joy emanating from your being because they have allowed themselves to internalise some of the worst human traits including jealousy, which has them wishing for other people's blessings. At the core of it, they are usually attention-seekers who thrive on melodrama. But Linda, honey, listen: if you do the work, the results will do the talking.
So as much as some of you would have us believe we are not allowed to drink champagne because we got our clothes from a popular department store, or that our holiday to Thailand is any less because "is it the new Durban" - get a life, people. Ngesizwe ngani...