#MensConference: Full Valentine's Day 'escape plan' revealed
Events as they've been unfolding in the run up to SA's fictitious Men's Conference that's been trending on social media
The hilarious Valentine's escape plan known as #MensConference has been trending on Twitter and many men are delighted. The fictitious conference will be taking place from February 14 to 16, strategically organised so that men can escape their Valentine's Day obligations. The location has remained a top secret but somehow men have been able to purchase their tickets.
An itinerary that has been circulated provides a little insight into what will be happening during the three days. Malusi Gigaba and rapper Emtee are set to host a "size doesn't matter" competition, while former President Jacob Zuma will give a talk on polygamy and Julius Malema will inspire attendees with his tales of weight loss.
Unfortunately, DJ Fresh had to disappoint fans after his lady forbade him attending, but DJ Tira's announcement that he will be turning up the volume at the after-party saved the day.
Despite attempts by disgruntled individuals to prevent the conference from happening, the organisers were able to overcome all difficulties and the venue was ready for the men to gather by the time Valentine's Day arrived.
I am reliable informed that the #Mens_Conference venue scheduled to take place on 14 February has been burnt to ashes. Those men who have sustained burn injuries have be taken to the nearest MENS CLINIC. These arsonist must be brought to book. pic.twitter.com/2gzwQecaXM— Mfanafuthi Biyela (@Phathizwe_RSA) February 13, 2019
The conference gathered so much support that, Chris Mpehle, head of organising, even welcomed a British delegation and comrades from Lesotho could be seen making their way to the venue during the early hours of Valentine's Day.
International guests representing the British delegation have arrived early for check in. They were received by myself and a few other members of the NEC's portfolio organising committee. #MensConference #MensValentinesConference #MensConference2019 pic.twitter.com/RInyC5v6Wt— Head of Organising, Men's National Conference. (@ChrisMpehle) February 13, 2019
As was to be expected, the men racing to make their way to the conference caused havoc on the roads.
Luckily for those running late, main man Chris extended the registration period.
By the powers vested in me, I officially announce an extention on registration. We understand that many of you are travelling & so you have until 6:30 tomorrow morning to complete your registration at which point the venue will close for us to begin our work. #MensConference https://t.co/ICXKTzHuDW— Head of Organising, Men's National Conference. (@ChrisMpehle) February 13, 2019
Unfortunately for the latecomers, they missed the jubilant arrival of the main speakers and, it would seem, a surprise address by former President Robert Mugabe.
Some men (we dare say very few) missed the memo, skipped out on the conference and bought their ladies the obligatory roses and chocolates for Valentine's Day. Others subsequently found love in the run-up to the much-anticipated event and attempted to sell their tickets.
Who wants tickets to the Men's conference,I am selling mine,I am in love bafwethu.— Jah Vele! 🇿🇦 (@phethohlubi3) February 13, 2019
Most men, however, have taken to Twitter to express the joy they've found in the Men's Conference, calling for an end of the commodification of love.
With the men away and nothing left to be done, after tantrums and fits of rage, the women have remembered: if you can't beat them ... join them.
WATCH | Social media users have declared a #MensConference. It will be held this Valentine’s Day, February 14 2019, and the tweets will have you in stitches. Subscribe to TimesLIVE here: https://www.youtube.com/user/TimesLive