There are 13 types of dads. Which one are you?

Funny, wise, cool, frugal ... the many faces of fatherhood

09 June 2019 - 00:13 By
Cool dad Will Smith.
Cool dad Will Smith.
Image: Getty Images

1. COOL DAD (THINK WILL SMITH)

As a general rule dads are supposed to be embarrassing dweebs who dress for comfort and have trouble operating smartphones. This is not him. The cool dad oozes swag like a pustule and never looks to be trying too hard. In the case of Will Smith especially, the cool dad is also the one who allows one's kids to unfurl their creative wings to their fullest extent.

Tim Horwood, MD at Mashoba Media
Tim Horwood, MD at Mashoba Media
Image: Sunday Times archives

2. ARTY DAD (THINK TIM HORWOOD)

This is the type of dad who attendees of parent-teacher meetings would refer to as "unconventional". His musical knowledge extends beyond what was playing on the radio when he grew up and you're more likely to hear him harping on about the developments in contemporary African art than dissecting the latest Blue Bulls game.

Actor Jason Momoa of 'Game of Thrones' and 'Aquaman' fame.
Actor Jason Momoa of 'Game of Thrones' and 'Aquaman' fame.
Image: Getty Images

3. MACHO DAD (THINK JASON MOMOA)

He's the one women love and men want to be. Gruff and unconcerned with fashion mores, the macho dad does things like throw tomahawks and arm wrestle. He looks like he may wrestle teenage bears for fun and has no problems hunting armed with nothing but a knife between his teeth. He never hunts for sport though. Despite this, he's still just an overgrown softie with a secret fondness for Doc McStuffins.

Former international rugby union referee Jonathan Kaplan.
Former international rugby union referee Jonathan Kaplan.
Image: Getty Images

4. SINGLE DAD (THINK JONATHAN KAPLAN)

This is not limited to the cases where mommy dearest left to get cigarettes and never came back. It rather includes scenarios where there was never a mommy dearest to begin with. Consequently he is both the good cop and the bad cop, both breadwinner and homework helper.

Wise dad Mufasa.
Wise dad Mufasa.
Image: Supplied

5. WISE DAD (THINK MUFASA)

Slow to anger but quick to disapprove, wise dad is full of parables about morality and living a good life. Everything is a teaching moment for him and the lessons never stop coming. Chances are he's been through a lot and that's rubbed a lot of the humour off of his personality- but that doesn't mean he won't smile.

Actor Sterling K Brown of 'This is Us' fame.
Actor Sterling K Brown of 'This is Us' fame.
Image: Getty Images

6. STYLISH DAD (THINK STERLING K BROWN)

Boy does he look good no matter what he is doing. Rarely has he been caught with a hair out of place, regardless of the activity. He always follows the fashion mantra of not letting your clothes wear you and is determined to pass that trait down. Dirty shoes are forbidden in his house.

7. ROCKER DAD (THINK MICK JAGGER)

Everyone loves the rocker dad because he's got more crazy stories from 1984 than most people experience in their entire lives. This type of dad has seen a lot and it shows. He can drink most people under the table, quote obscure Bob Dylan songs at will and only stopped doing cocaine because it messes with his guitar playing.

Rocker dad Mick Jagger.
Rocker dad Mick Jagger.
Image: Getty Images
Local celeb chef Benny Masekwameng.
Local celeb chef Benny Masekwameng.
Image: Sunday Times archives

8. COOK DAD (THINK BENNY MASEKWAMENG)

McDonald's for who? Chef Daddy doesn't entertain fast food. Instead he cooks like an artist throwing brush strokes at a canvas. Often he will rope his kids into crafting the family's latest culinary creation, an exercise likely to leave the kitchen looking like it was hit by a drunk whirlwind. That said, he will still engender an enduring love of all things tasty.

Local comedian Riaad Moosa.
Local comedian Riaad Moosa.
Image: Sunday Times Archives

9. FUNNY DAD (THINK RIAAD MOOSA)

Always quick with the jokes, funny dad is adept at having everyone in stitches and often uses it to get his way.

Pretty dad David Beckham.
Pretty dad David Beckham.
Image: Getty Images

10. PRETTY DAD (THINK DAVID BECKHAM)

Every time he pitches up at his children's sports games, the pretty dad causes a quiet stir. A lot of the moms and some of the dads are friendlier than usual and having your friends come over to the house usually involves having to tell them to rein in their daddy double entendres.

Local rapper AKA.
Local rapper AKA.
Image: Gallo Images

11. EXUBERANT DAD (THINK AKA)

Energy personified, exuberant papi will happily bounce off all the walls with his babies.

Billionaire investor Warren Buffett is famously frugal.
Billionaire investor Warren Buffett is famously frugal.
Image: Getty Images

12. FRUGAL DAD (THINK WARREN BUFFETT)

If your dad is like this then chances are you have received many a lecture on the value of a rand. Ask him for R5 to buy chips and you'll likely be told about how back in his day chips cost 50c and came in a bigger packet. He's made it abundantly clear that your inheritance will not be nearly as sizable as you would like and uses "value for money" as his fashion motto.

DIY dad Riaan Venter.
DIY dad Riaan Venter.
Image: Sunday Times archives

13. DIY DAD (THINK RIAAN VENTER AKA DIE NUTSMAN)

If it's broken he can fix it. DIY Daddy can seemingly do anything with his hands, from changing a light bulb to helping you build a solar-powered water filtration system made of household objects. Chances are that over the weekends he roped you into all types of activities that were guaranteed to give you callouses.


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