Subversive females abound in the animal kingdom

You glance down at the 30 Seconds card in your hand. Scan it, hoping to recognise something. Aha! Easy. "Spotted hyena" jumps out.

"Siff scavengers, scary laugh, bad omens, the antagonists in The Lion King."

Your team-mate figures it out. "Hyena!"

You flash a grin and carry on with the game.

All's fair in play and time constraints, but the next time you happen upon Crocuta crocuta's common name, try the following: "Matriarchal canine, larger than the dudes, the females have pseudo-penises."

Yes, the female hyena's hypertrophied clitoris resembles that of her subaltern's phallus, thus she is often mistaken for a male. How's that for destabilising the assumption that gender is based on biological sex? Their dens are ruled by dowagers, not dukes, and the lowest female has higher societal standing than the most dominant male. In other words, it's a hierarchical system which Homo sapiens could only benefit from, right?

The presence of a pseudo-penis makes for an arduous mating ritual, with allowing not just any male to penetrate her, and ridding herself of those who take their time succeeding at the deed with the canine equivalent of a casual shrug.

Genital mimicry (and the aquatic version of fragile masculinity) is as prevalent in the ocean as it is on land, as observed in the female market squid. To ward off unwanted sexual attention, a white stripe that runs along the side of her body will morph into a feature resembling the approximate size, colour and position of gonads on a male squid. Flashing these pseudo-testes proves far too shocking for the randy suitor who'd rather not sow his seed than explore his sexuality.

GARROTTING ARACHNIDS AND MASTICATING MANTISES

Femmes fatales are as prevalent in the natural world as archetypes portrayed in literature and film, but (un)fortunately nature is less forgiving of the seduced male: our sisters in the animal kingdom embody a literal approach to the esteemed title of "man eater". And not just because they fancy a snack of Tom, Dick or Jack, but because of the distinguished act of devouring the poor sod either during or after sex. A protein boost and one less male on the planet? Dream world!

The black widow button spider, a local member of the Latrodectus genus of arachnids, has gained notoriety for her propensity to partake in post-coital cannibalism, culminating in the illustrious moniker of "black widow".

Her North American, European, and Australian relatives share the female knopie spinnekop's habit of enjoying foodstuff after fornication, yet there's one insect that the foursome can dedicate Instagram #goals posts to: the female praying mantis.

If "sexual cannibalism" were a riot grrrl band, the female mantis would have featured on their instruments, T-shirts, album covers, and guitar cases - for hardcore these green femmes fatales are. Wait till after sex to eat? Pfft. I'm hungry now!

The following passage from Aldous Huxley's 1962 novel Island, which portrays the female praying mantis's inclination to chow her mate mid-procreation, says it all: "And now one of the nightmare machines, the female, had turned the small flat head, all mouth and bulging eyes, at the end of its long neck - had turned it and (dear God!) had begun to devour the head of the male machine. First a purple eye was chewed out, then half the bluish face. What was left of the head fell to the ground. Unrestrained by the weight of the eyes and jaws, the severed neck waved wildly. The female machine snapped at the oozing stump, caught it and, while the headless male uninterruptedly kept up his parody of Ares in the arms of Aphrodite, methodically chewed." Hectic.

JACANA: LILY WALKER OR LIBERTINE WENCH?

Hyenas, squids, spiders, and mantises aside, a certain long-toed wader deserves to be honoured in a piece on subversive females in the animal kingdom on account of her status as reigning queen of avian polyandry.

Jacanas favour shallow lakes and are sometimes referred to as "lily trotters", "lily walkers" or "Jesus birds" as their elongated phalanges allow them to redistribute their weight while foraging among water lilies and similar aquatic vegetation, creating the impression that they're imitating feathered Messiahs. On the subject of weight: the female is larger than the male and her sexual prowess far surpasses that of her sperm-carrying subordinates.

Living her best autonomous and sexually liberated life, the female jacana will have up to four mates at a time during shagging season, laying her eggs in the different males' nests. She can't be arsed about building said nest or incubating eggs (things to do, lilies to tread, fellows to bed) and leaves this tedious job to her male concubines.

To which we respond with a resounding: "Ja, jacana! Ja."