Humour

Could your string of bad luck simply be put down to statistics?

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. And then there is the case of being left to fend for yourself after being locked out of Noah's Ark

07 February 2021 - 00:02

In December, I had one of those days that would have the Kanye West song All Falls Down as a soundtrack if it was depicted in a motion picture. At about 3am I was woken up by what felt like a sharp needle piercing through the flesh at the back of my upper arm. It was so painful I thought the Covid vaccine had come a few weeks early.

It turns out it was just a gluttonous mosquito defying the Peaceful Sleep I had smeared all over my body. I spent the next 10 minutes enacting the Afrikaans poem Muskiete Jag, standing on the bed seeking revenge on the insolent parasite. This is when I was attacked by a sharp pain on my left hamstring that made me straighten up and give my best impression of the mummies in Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Yes, a cramp...

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