Airbnbs, public hospitals and SA’s ignorance: Ndumiso Ngcobo’s top read columns

Each week, Ndumiso Ngcobo tickles the nation’s funny bone with the witty column he writes for the Sunday Times Lifestyle supplement.

In case you missed them, here are Ngcobo's top read columns from the past three months:

Airbnb hosts should have to test drive the getaways they're offering

One of the most meaningless and annoying buzz phrases of the past 10 months has been “the new normal”. It reminds me of a similarly meaningless phrase from the 1990s, "New World Order".

It's become a family tradition that towards the end of December we pack up and head out of the city or the country for a week or so. This time around we agonised about the wisdom of going anywhere. In the end, we decided quite late in the day that we would not survive the cumulative psychological effects of cabin fever from the year if we stayed put.

We decided to take a "calculated risk" and book the family into a remote farm in the armpit of the land. We settled on a farm cottage in a place I'd never heard of called Tonteldoos, about 45 minutes' driving from Dullstroom.

Here, I must interrupt myself to point out that Airbnb is an inspired idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. The idea of folks with spaces they are not using just opening them up to people needing to crash for a little while is ingenious.

I have always experienced the app from a guest's perspective, seeing as I am not a host. And it's a very, very good thing I am not. I do more than my fair share of travelling, but I would suck as a host.

And this is the mistake many people make. Understanding what it takes to run a good holiday cottage does not necessary mean you should do it.

Read the full column here. 

I dread ending up in a public hospital — and not for the reasons you'd expect

A lot of debate has been generated around the progressively approaching National Health Insurance (NHI). I have a simplistic view on the matter.

The need for universal national health insurance is a no-brainer bordering on duh! — but a lot of things look good on paper, case in point being the Covid Relief Fund. Giving money to the government is not too different from Lewis Hamilton handing the keys to his Mercedes-AMG One hypercar to Stevie Wonder after plying him with tequila.

But if you think this is a well-thought-out piece on the merits and downsides of the NHI, you do not know me at all. It is not that kind of party.

My biggest concern about the NHI is the prospect of finding myself in a public hospital. Again, not for the usual reasons you hear from whiny talk radio callers.

Read the full column here. 

Headlines we can handle, but no texts longer than a Chappies wrapper, thanks

I have lived in the same neighbourhood on the Klippies side of the Boerewors Curtain for 18 years, on and off. This past Friday there were flash floods that necessitated me taking a vastly different route than the one I'm used to. I never leave my house without my Waze or Google Maps applications.

I just think that's silliness. However, on Friday, the main access road leading to my house was closed off with cones and none of my fellow Wazers had bothered to update the app to alert other users because people think these GPS apps work magically.

And this is how I found myself within 5km of my own house without an inkling of where I was.

There's a tower in my neighbourhood. In the pre-GPS epoch, I used it as a landmark a lot to get my bearings — but until Friday, I had never bothered to know what it is.

Let me pause here to silently hurl a torrent of invective at myself. Lacking the curiosity to find out the identity of a monstrous structure that is at least 80m high, within 5km of one's own house, is just plain embarrassing.

Before anyone goes, "Oh, but you're being harsh on yourself, you cannot know the identity of every structure in your neighbourhood!", let me stop you there. Yes, you can and you should. 

Read the full column here.