Liquid sex toy, the mod: Seven super-hi-tech sex toys to rock your world

1. THE PICOBONG TRANSFORMER

This is billed as the first ever gender-neutral toy. It’s a double-ended vibrator that has a function that will please everyone. Apparently now you can please all of the people all of the time.

2. TELEDILDONIC OR CYBERDILDONIC TOYS

These make use of smartphones, tablets and computers, and are Apple Watch compatible. They work with virtual-reality headsets, are matched to apps, and are able to hook up to social media. These hi-tech sex toys can be controlled by your partner over short or longer ranges. So you no longer need to be in the same bed, house, or even zip code, to have sex.

3. THE AMBROSIA VIBE ORGASMATRONIC

The world’s first bionic strap-on vibrator, which responds to touch. You massage it and it pleasures you in return.

4. THE AUTOBLOW 2I

We’re not sure what the Autoblow 1 did, but the 21 is a robotic oral-sex simulator for men, with various speeds and sensations.

5. THE MOD

A hi-tech silicone vibrator, with three built-in motors, that creates more lifelike sensations. It is USB rechargeable, and you can download customisable apps, and add plug-and-play controllers that will sync it with your partner’s heartbeat. You can also connect it to your smartphone and design your own series of vibrations, which you can record and play back on demand.

6. THE INCOGNITO DISCREET LIPSTICK VIBRATOR

It looks like a lipstick, it hides discreetly in your handbag like a lipstick, it’s the same size as a lipstick. And you put it on your lips. No, not those lips, the other ones.

7. THE LIQUID SEX TOY

This one is so futuristic, it doesn’t even exist yet. But imagine a liquid gel, made up of microscopic robots. Each partner applies the gel, and the robots respond to signals sent to each other over the internet, allowing lovers to feel each other’s orgasms long distance. We’ve barely even created the language to explain what it is yet, but if you’ll pardon the pun, it’s coming.