'The biggest bully in my life has always been the SA fashion industry'

Fortunately, my journey doesn't begin with feelings of sadness around my body. I've been plus size my entire life, and I've never felt uncomfortable or insecure in my own skin. That really has to do with my mom and the foundation she built around my confidence as a child. I remember a conversation my mom had with me as a five-year-old on my first day at preschool.

She said: "Don't let anyone have anything to say about you or your body. It's none of their business. You are very beautiful and the most fabulous five year old. Yes, your body might look different to all the other children, but the only conversation anyone should have about you today is how fabulous the fur gillet is that I put on you. Remember, you can be whoever you want to be with fashion."

My mom's words never left my system and have followed me everywhere.

I don't recall being bullied at school. I actually ended up being the popular girl who took civvies day very seriously. People knew not to step on me, and if they did, they knew I would shut them down real quick. I've always been super-confident and super-obsessed with myself, and the relationship I've always had with fashion and clothing is a huge contributor to my journey of self love.

The bullying began when I finished high school and started my life in fashion. The biggest bully in my life has been the South African fashion industry.

I can't count how many times this industry reminds me of my size, and most times it's not done directly. It's when I arrive on set and the stylist didn't really bother to source clothes for me, but did so for the regular-sized girls. I once received an e-mail the day before a shoot asking me to bring my own clothes.

And what about only being booked for jobs that are plus-size specific? Or constantly being asked: "How come you are so confident?"

And what about always being "othered" while brands and publications are claiming to be inclusive, but really it's all a big fat lie (pun intended).

When I was signed as a plus-size model I thought things would be different, but it is another struggle. I'm the biggest signed model in the country (by biggest I mean I'm a size 46 when most plus models are a 38, 40 or 42). All the other working models are shaped the same. The "Ashley Graham" kind of body, and that's basically the only body type and shape the modelling industry recognises and is open to using.

Plus size modelling and its nuances are the first time my feelings have been hurt, and I hate that these experiences have wounded me. I mean, besides being Yoliswa, the cool girl from Instagram, I'm also a pretty good model.

And then there's questions about where I shop. Well, I don't, because to shop means you walk into a mall and find clothes that fit. The most annoying part is not always being able to find the basics. Fashion brands in this country couldn't be bothered with catering for plus bodies, so I have about 80% of my clothes custom-made.

The fact that the one of the biggest department stores in the country, doesn't have a plus-size division still blows my mind. Plus-size women aren't satisfied with clothing that fits if they're lucky, or clothing that fits but is so dated that they look like they were yanked out of the previous century. Fat women deserve to look fashionable too.

The fashion industry has a long way to go when it comes to inclusion, from plus- size women working in the industry to the regular plus-size woman who is trying to find a fabulous and fashionable dress at the mall to wear to her friend's wedding.

All of this is exhausting and disappointing, but conversations like these must take place, not to call the industry out but to communicate the reality of most plus-size women. With honesty from us, there will be change in the industry. Until then, my fat ass will remain hopeful about inclusiveness.