Humour

The hilarious convo the Queen & Anna Wintour COULD have had in the frow

22 February 2018 - 00:00
Queen Elizabeth II sits with Anna Wintour as they view Richard Quinn's runway show during London Fashion Week on February 20 2018.
Queen Elizabeth II sits with Anna Wintour as they view Richard Quinn's runway show during London Fashion Week on February 20 2018.
Image: Yui Mok-Pool/Getty Images

Haute couture high priestess Dame Anna Wintour recently had the honour of being seated next to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II as the regent took in her first-ever London Fashion Week.

Judging by her facial expressions it seems like HRH had a jolly old time being shown the ropes by Vogue’s editor-in-chief.

As it was her first time in the frow (front row) we can only imagine that the chat between the 91- year-old regent and Wintour must have been interesting.

This is how we think it went:

AW *curtsies before taking her seat*: Thank you for gracing us with your presence Your Majesty. How are you?

QE: One is well. A little put out with the Duke of Edinburgh but rather excited to be here.

AW: Sorry to hear that Your Majesty …

QE: Call me Ma’am dear. All those Your Majesties grow tiresome after a while

AW: Very well. What brings you to London Fashion Week?

QE: If you must know Dame Wintour, it’s Phillip. Some devil introduced him to a new-fangled contraption called Netflix and he hasn't left his bedroom since. One thought it best to leave the palace and take in a show.

AW: Ah I see. Well your outfit is absolutely stunning. It’s just the right mix of understated regal elegance and old-world chic. Who designed it?

QE: Regal elegance? One should certainly hope so dear. My seamstresses would not be any good could they not make a queen look queenly. Anyhow, enough of this jibber-jabber, explain something to me, is that young lady wearing real leopard skin? My ancestors used to hunt leopard you know.

AW: No she isn’t Ma’am. Unfortunately wearing real skins is frowned upon these days. People with little taste and less money seem to think it cruel, but best not to dwell on that.

QE *with a royal chuckle*:  Pity. I am sure Phillip would have loved a leopard skin jumper. I suppose he’s a little too old be wearing a fake leopard. My granddaughter Eugenie may go in for that sort of thing though. Oh look, there goes one dressed as a fluffy rainbow. Golly this is exciting!

AW: Yes Ma’am, that garment is part of Christopher Bailey’s collection for Burberry. The collection is meant to celebrate LGBTI youth.

QE: Burberry? Really? They have made the Duke and oneself some fabulous shooting coats. One does not imagine you could sneak up on pheasants dressed like a kaleidoscope, but I suppose times change.

One does not imagine you could sneak up one too pheasants dressed like a kaleidoscope, but I suppose times change
An imaginary Queen Elizabeth

AW: Indeed they do Ma’am. Sometimes they come full circle as has happened with everyone drawing inspiration from 90s fashion this year. Ah, will you look at Adowa Aboah, she really is the toast of the fashion world. She’s one of our own you know; she was named Model of the Year at the 2017 British Fashion Awards.

QE *casting a sly glance to Wintour*: Quite right. I heard she recently gave a stirring speech about the abuses of power that seem to be so rampant in your industry.

AW: She did Ma’am. Like the empire did not too long ago, we in the fashion industry are learning that treating people as mere tools is not a right and proper way to behave.

QE *coughs awkwardly*: Well said Dame Wintour, well said.

The rest of the conversation was probably a jocular back and forth on the best ways to gracefully fix a flat tyre and nonchalant anecdotes about travelling without a passport.


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