SA's new spa customer is demanding, loves a pamper — and she's only 6!

When my niece turned nine, her birthday request was a day at the spa. It seemed a little sophisticated to me, but accepting that I'm probably a bit old-fashioned in my outlook, I agreed. Part of me was also curious: what goes on at a kids' spa, I wondered?

The visit did little to dispel my misgivings. There was something unsettling about watching a grown woman bending over the pudgy hands of a child during a nail paint - though that could be my over-privileged guilt talking. Certainly, the therapists seemed to give little thought to their clients' age - though I thought I detected a sneer of sorts when one told me that the youngest child she had manicured was one year old. "It was to celebrate her first birthday," she said. "We needed two therapists, because her hands were still automatically clenched." 

I'm not the only parent who feels uneasy at the idea of pampering pre-teens. Says Chazya Chailla, who has a six-year-old daughter, "I think we should let kids be kids. It's not that I oppose manicures as such; it's more that it's a case of pure consumerism. I can spend time with my child at home, painting our toes together." She also worries that there's a direct line between today's pedi and tomorrow's nose job.

But hundreds of parents disagree. Life Day Kids Spa caters to about 600 children, aged mostly 4-14, every month; boys and girls alike. The spa opened in 2015, when Laura Stylianou, business partner of the Life Day Spa Group, had an insight that, given the frenetic pace of our lifestyles, not only adults need a spot of pampering.

"Our kids' lives are very different to ours: they're dealing with busy school curricula, sporting activities and the general challenges associated with growing up. We offer treatments so that they too can be revitalised and energised, and learn to take care of their little bodies and minds from a young age," says  Jo-Ann Sona Singh, Life Day Spa Kids manager of the Spas of Distinction Group.

When Mangwanani African Spa opened its children's branches - one at uShaka Marine World and one at the Wild Coast's Wild Waves Water Park - it was more with an eye to giving kids something to do while their parents had treatments at the main spa. The spaces have evolved, however: they are frequently used to host kids' parties, and welcome parents and grandparents too - though treatments have been tailored with children's needs in mind.

PROMOTING THE BOND

It's this function of the spa as a platform for promoting the bond between parents and children that interests clinical psychologist Candice Cowen. She concedes that some may believe it is indulgent to spend money on a massage for a child but, on the other hand, some may see it as a way to connect and spend quality time. "I guess it speaks to the millennial generation, and what is acceptable to society is evolving. I also believe that parenting styles have had to change to keep up with society's changes."

Preschool teacher Anja Fockema is more sceptical. If the point of spoiling your child with a treatment is to make her feel like a princess, there's surely a risk that she'll grow a taste, and an expectation, of such treatment? Cowen's answer: "I think it's questionable that there could be a negative impact - but any decision you take involving your child should involve their age, maturity and level of understanding."

For holistic counsellor Cindy Arenstein, the crux lies in children's experience of the process: Have you couched the spa visit as an opportunity to learn about self-care and healthy stress release, or are you sending the message that you need to do this to be beautiful? "You need to be careful that you are not sending the message that happiness comes from how you look and what you buy, but instead is something that you achieve for yourself. If you visit a spa, you might be happy for the day, but you haven't done anything that will result in real happiness. You need to ask the question: 'Am I doing this to satisfy a need within myself, or will my child really benefit and appreciate this treatment at a young age?'"

But Jacques Dippenaar and Singh are emphatic that their little clients love their treatments just as much as their moms and dads. "They love it," Dippenaar insists. "Those that can write tell us in our guest book that they can't wait to come back again. And the therapists enjoy it, too. They love having the kids around."

More than this, the treatments are good for kids, Singh avers. "It's not about spoiling or indulging the kids. There are proven physical benefits to these treatments. For example, massage stimulates the muscles and assists with supplying oxygen to the lungs. It also boosts blood flow to the brain, which helps develop brain function, leading to faster, clearer, more rational thinking. Manicures and pedicures also include massage, and the gentle pressure applied to the sole of the foot helps normalise body functions by improving circulation and relaxation. The earlier you start acknowledging these benefits and responding to them, the more well balanced and healthy your life will be."

Fair enough - but Debbie Calvert, mother of two daughters, remains unconvinced. "If your child needs to relax at age six, you've got problems."