What's the most enjoyable sex position for an overweight couple?

Q. My partner and I are both overweight and not enjoying sex. To make it worse, he has a small penis. I find different positions very uncomfortable and I am forced to fake enjoying sex with him.

A. The association between obesity and sexual dysfunction has been described in many studies and findings have been made regarding desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation as well as health-seeking patterns of obese people.

The body mass index is used to measure body fat. A low BMI does not always mean healthy and obesity doesn't mean inability to have a fulfilling sex life.

Obese or overweight women and men are no different in terms of frequency of sexual intercourse and sexual play.

It is true that certain positions may be uncomfortable. However, physical stamina and the ability to enjoy sex and have orgasms is possible with any body shape or size.

The penis when erect is larger and longer than a flaccid penis and a belly may contribute to the illusion that it is small. The penis may also seem small because of the bigger abdominal circumference and larger fat pad over the pubic area.

A penis may change shape and look different if a man loses weight. However, if there is indeed a medical condition, a medical checkup is required to receive a proper diagnosis.

Frustration felt as a result of sexual dissatisfaction can cause mental strain and relationship problems.

Communicate with your partner about new sex positions that are comfortable for both of you.

You can try different positions which will have the most direct genital-to-genital contact. Try you being on top.

• Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, DISA Clinic, 011-886-2286, visit safersex.co.za.

• Do you have a question about sex? E-mail your questions to lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za with SEX TALK as the subject. Anonymity assured.