Can you still have a spicy sex life if you're in a long-distance relationship?

Q. I'm in a long-distance relationship. How can I keep the flame burning?

A. Relationships have many challenges and physical distance between partners does bring its own set of demands for intimacy and communication. The fact that the relationship happens over long distance is not by default a major setback. Some people prefer these types of relationships.

Whether or not you go into the long-distance relationship from the get go or it becomes the reality well into the relationship, there are ways to ensure that the connection between the partners is maintained and that intimacy is sustained.

Technology has provided us with platforms to remain connected and in touch with each other. Sexting, phone sex and dating apps have put the idea of sharing, creating and consuming sexual content literally at our fingertips.

Requests for nudes and homemade clips for one's long-distance partner means that you may be considering venturing into spaces you have not prepared for. The need for erotic intelligence as one navigates the digital world is very important.

Long-distance sex toys are a great way for couples to share erotic moments. One partner can use the sex toy while the other partner controls it through a mobile app from anywhere in the world.

A good old book of erotica read over the phone to each other is great - hearing each other's voices can be great as foreplay and gives good ideas about masturbation and phone sex.

It is important to be deliberate about expressions of love, interest and care for your partner. Being physically removed means that you are not able to benefit from nonverbal communication or cues.

The level of satisfaction in the relationship can be the same and sometimes even more than those living together because of how thoughtful and mindful one has to be about giving and receiving love.

• Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, Disa Clinic, safersex.co.za.

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