Perving over plastic: Lego porn is a thing people

Lego's innocent yellow plastic people, who have been part of so many idyllic childhoods, are being put into compromising positions by kinky Internet users

06 September 2018 - 14:42
Childhood toys get kinky in Lego porn videos.
Childhood toys get kinky in Lego porn videos.
Image: 123RF/seaonweb

Most people have something from their childhood that they cherish and that’s sacrosanct – a nostalgic reminder of the innocence of youth that can be called up when adult life is getting too much.

If your special memories are playing with Lego, though, sorry but there are some weird people out there who seem to get off on creating porn out of Denmark’s biggest export.

In an article for vice.com, Samantha Cole takes a look at the strange and troubled world of Lego porn – a small but still visible corner of the internet that offers a kinky twist on the innocent yellow people who have been part of so many idyllic childhoods.

According to the article, there’s a Lego porn “subreddit” on reddit.com that has 725 subscribers but has only posted 15 times over five years. Search #LegoPorn on Instagram and Twitter and you'll discover some social media users are also fans of the plastic pornography.

Then there’s the 70s “delivery guy” Lego porn video on YouTube posted by Kimberley Regan which has had a million views. It’s not risqué but rather a parody in the vein of several Lego animations that have been popular over the years, complete with a “wacka wacka wow wow” soundtrack.

WATCH | The infamous Lego porn video, 'delivery guy'

Warning! If you're upset by seeing tiny plastic people in compromising positions, this video is not for you.

There’s also something called the Big Lego Porn Album, which Cole describes as  “a glorious repository of some of the greatest Lego porn, from New Yorker style cartoons of Lego sex workers to tentacle-Lego crossovers”.

The Wyldstyle character from the 2014 Lego Movie has unwittingly become a popular porn star.
The Wyldstyle character from the 2014 Lego Movie has unwittingly become a popular porn star.
Image: 123RF/ctrphotos

A lot of Lego Porn involves the female Wyldstyle character from the 2014 Lego Movie – the sassy, adventurous woman voiced by Elizabeth Banks.

Finally, for the NSFW (not safe for work) hardcore Lego fetish fans there’s apparently something on Pornhub.com called French Anal Lego Sluts 7 – a European-made animation posted anonymously which Cole commends for the director’s “addition of Claymation boobs and a penis to the minifigure actors, for extra realism” adding that the view of the Eiffel Tower from the window is a nice touch, too.

It seems that some people have taken Lego’s celebration of the fact that “Lego play is all about everyone being able to make whatever they want,” to a place that the Danes might not have ever imagined but because we’re all essentially perverted they had to know someone was going to go there.


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