Accidental Tourist: CARBON COP HEAVY

08 January 2012 - 02:16 By Nancy Richards
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Nancy Richards adds to the guilt of greenhouse gas by losing it in Durban

THE navigator is in denial about her need for reading glasses. The handy little city and shuttle map, designed for UN Framework Convention on Climate Change delegates, features all the new street names commemorating struggle heroes with a great deal of M's and Z's. Many of the names appear on the map but not on the streets and the conditions of a late overcast Durban afternoon has reduced visibility considerably.

In my head ring the words of the friend we'd planned to meet: "Everywhere is only 10 minutes away from anywhere. Durban is very quick." But not for Cape dummies used to large rock landmarks who've managed to come adrift between the University of KwaZulu-Natal and the International Convention Centre with embarrassing ease. We are very lost, in peak traffic.

On the upside it's an opportunity to see all the city's hot spots, repeatedly, with each erroneous circuit. Botanical Gardens, Greyville race course, taxi rank, train station, a good many markets, temples, mosques and churches, all of which look extraordinarily familiar and similar in an inter-faith sort of way.

Other upsides are the friendly Indian Engen garage owner who, on his ringed fingers, meticulously counts the number of robots through which we have to go, and the helpful dudes in the gold Pajero suggesting a more general direction.

A theatrical highlight is the taxi driver who gives an award-winning performance through a window. Fixing his gaze past the invisible white driver and intently on the Xhosa-speaking navigator, he offers an animated set of instructions peppered with McDonald's. The navigator nods throughout and waves, smiling, as he speeds off. The lights change. "What did he say?" "I don't know, we just have to look for McDonald's." Turns out she's also in denial about her Zulu comprehension. We do eventually pass a burger outlet, but later discover from the "everywhere is 10 minutes" friend, that McDonald has more recently become Alan Paton Road, which may have validated the taxi driver's insistence.

Luckily all this was not on an empty stomach. Earlier, up at the university, we had been treated to a hummus-laced vegan sandwich. In an echoing lecture room, a New Zealander from the World Preservation Foundation had been explaining how the price in environmental terms, of feeding, watering, slaughtering, washing and packing the meat from ruminant livestock who in turn pump 80 million metric tons of harmful methane gas into the global atmosphere, was a prime reason for the world to rethink its carnivorous habits. In particular, he said, the additional costs of fuel for the transportation of all this meat over many miles from field to abattoir to supermarket to your kitchen was adding massively to carbon emissions. The free and very tasty sandwiches were a way of encouraging a diet shift.

Given all that we had learned that afternoon, the guilt of topping up SA's already heavy carbon load by driving around Durban for hours was doubled. Next time we walk. - © Nancy Richards

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