#travelfails: our writers made these rookie mistakes, so you don't have to

YOLISA MKELE: FEATURES WRITER

Despite the fact that in 2020 you can pay restaurant bills with apps, apply for a bank loan on the toilet and fly a drone with your phone, you absolutely cannot board a plane without a pen.

There is an unholy amount of paperwork involved in airport arrivals. Landing somewhere foreign with no pen guarantees some awkward interaction. You'll look pleadingly into a confused pair of eyes while doing hand signals and saying "Pen?" like you've just been hit in the head and that's the only word you remember.

Also, don't get drunk on long-haul flights. Liquor is dehydrating and so is flying. Combine the two and you'll be in a bad way when it's time to land and you've got all that paperwork to do.

What I learnt: Take. A. Pen and pace yourself with the booze. @nun_in_a_brothel

ELIZABETH SLEITH: TRAVEL EDITOR

Spending a few days in Ronda, Spain, my friend and I made the impulsive decision one night to hop on a train the next morning to Granada to see the Alhambra Palace.

A very early start and a five-hour train ride later, we learnt that one does not simply visit the Alhambra.

One books tickets online, often weeks in advance.

We sulked around the no-booking-needed palace gardens for a bit and then skulked off back to the train.

What I learnt: Impulsiveness is fine with things like, "Ooh, this looks like a nice bar," but when it comes to massive tourist attractions, especially ones that will require a mission to get there, Google is your friend. @eli.out.there

STEPHEN HAW: LIFESTYLE CONTENT DIRECTOR

I once tried to smuggle a bottle of Lagavulin onto a cruise ship.

I began to realise something was amiss when other passengers' bags were arriving at their cabins, but not mine. Eventually there was an ominous knock at the door.

There seemed to be a problem with my case. I was "escorted"' to a rather dingy room in the hold, where I smelt my case before I saw it. Whether or not the bottle had been broken by accident or deliberately to teach me a lesson, I will never know.

What I learnt: Seven nights in a small cabin with the aftermath of a broken whisky bottle feel like living inside a small Scottish still whacked by waves.

THEMBALETHU ZULU: S MAG EDITOR

Recently I went to Japan, a place I've wanted to go to for as long as I can remember.

In all the excitement, my besties and I ended up planning activities, restaurants, train rides almost down to the second.

We ended up in a vortex of box ticking, and not quite immersing ourselves in the different places as much as we could have.

What I learnt: Be knowledgeable about where you are going, but only plan for the absolute must-sees.

Allow yourself space to change plans where necessary, so that there is more flexibility in the schedule. @t_lethu

ANDREA NAGEL: Lifestyle editor

I once left a friend's week-long
Greek-island wedding a day early to travel to Athens to catch my flight home.

When I got to Athens, I realised my flight was only leaving the next day.

I had to wait around for 24 hours on plastic airport seats while my friends had their last big hurrah on one of the island's gorgeous beaches.

What I learnt: Check, check and check again those flight details. @angienagel

JENNIFER PLATT: BOOKS EDITOR

My mishap came down to activating my data roaming too late.

I landed in New York, found which train to take to New Jersey (at Penn Station, which in itself a minor miracle) but then I missed my stop.

Without wifi or roaming, it was pretty difficult to find out where I was and how to get back to the right station - I couldn't even call an Uber.

Thank goodness I found a Dunkin' Donuts with wifi (and doughnuts).

What I learnt: Always make sure your roaming is activated properly, buy a prepaid sim if possible and always have a map. @jenniferdianeplatt

NOKUBONGA THUSI: BEAUTY EDITOR

It took me two trips overseas to learn that customs are serious about the 100ml liquids rule.

On a trip to Germany, I packed a 150ml cleanser that I thought would be okay since it was almost finished.

It was tossed into the rubbish bin at Frankfurt.

Second trip, to Reunion, I packed all my cosmetics in my hand luggage so they couldn't be stolen from my checked case.

Not only did that get me a "step out of the queue Ma'am" but also had me begging him not to throw my favourite fragrance away.

What I learnt: Pack only travel-sized potions and carry them in Ziploc bags.

Put your full-sized cosmetics in your checked luggage. @knox_thusi_

SHARON ARMSTRONG: FASHION DIRECTOR

I always take a sleeping pill on long-haul flights but learnt my lesson when I prematurely took my pill before the plane took off.

There was some sort of problem and we all had to disembark.

Sadly I don't remember much of the airport wandering that followed, but I heard it wasn't pretty.

What I learnt: Don't take a thing before take-off.  @bettybecker

HILARY BILLER: FOOD EDITOR

Years ago, my London-based daughter begged me to bring biltong. My butcher sealed it twice in vacuum packs, then had me take it home and soak it in Handy Andy.

He guaranteed this would hide the smell, saying he had done it many times for his customers, who had always got away it.

I did as he said, then wiped down and wrapped the pack in a sock, before putting it in my favourite pair of trousers in my suitcase. At Heathrow, the pesky beagle sniffed me out within minutes.

Only pleading ignorance saved my bacon, plus a stern warning. My butcher has since closed down.

What I learnt: Having an airport dog follow your suitcase with a customs official in tow is extremely embarrasing.

Also, don't use your favourite pants to hide contraband. Mine so reeked of ammonia that I had to toss them. @hilarybiller_foodiesa

SARAH BUITENDACH: WANTED EDITOR

*Sarah fiercely objects to the experts' white-trainer ban (see Bonus Mistakes below).

I used to totally overpack shoes when I travelled. Sandals, evening shoes, some to walk in, something for rain, an option in case we went out for a fancy drink.

My luggage was always heavy and taken up with a jigsaw of footwear.

What I learnt: Take a pair of white sneakers. A perennially in-style set of Stan Smiths, Reebok Classics or Nikes. Everyone in the world wears them and knows they are the shoe of the now - hipsters, actuaries and retirees included. 

Wear them with jeans or a little black dress - dressed up or down, either way, you'll always be comfy and cool. @sarahbuiten

WHAT THE SURVEY SAID

The 2020 Annual Global Rescue Travel Safety Survey canvassed 2,400 members of Global Rescue, a private crisis-response firm. These are the responses. 

Overpacking: The most common mistake by far was overpacking, with 75% of travellers admitting guilt. Interestingly, the percentage decreases with age: 100% of travellers 25 and younger had overpacked and only 84% aged 30 to 39 had.

Ambitious itinerary: 40% of respondents said they'd created an overly ambitious itinerary. "You want to do and see everything but when you get home you wish you'd had more time to explore nature or relax on the beach," the report said.

Overlooked insurance: 38% regretted spending all that money on the vacation but without taking any measures to guard against unexpected issues.

Tipping blunders: Tipping etiquette varies wildly from country to country. In the US it's expected, in Japan it's considered rude. 35% of respondents worried about tipping appropriately while travelling.

Plug flubs: If you plan on charging yourself, remember you may need an international plug adapter. 31% had left theirs behind.

Dodgy drinking: 29% of respondents drank unsafe water while travelling. Younger travellers are more apt to make this mistake, with 41% aged 25-39 having done so as opposed to 34% between 40 and 49.

International faux pas: Not being aware of cultural differences and similarities in the country you're visiting could ruin a trip, and 18% of survey respondents worry about being culturally insensitive.

Copy flops: 17% of respondents had neglected to make a passport copy before they travelled. Keeping electronic copies of all your vital documents is the best idea.

Forgot meds: Prescription medication is one of the last few things packed but one of the most important - and difficult to replace when you're in a foreign land. 9% of travellers have forgotten this.

BONUS MISTAKES

From the staff of Global Rescue.

Looking like a tourist: If you want to look like a tourist, wear white lace-up tennis shoes or sneakers with Velcro on them and a passport holder with a cord around your neck.

Carrying only cards: It seems like a good idea to use only plastic while travelling - but what if you forgot to notify the bank or your chip malfunctions? Have at least a little cash.

• The survey was conducted between January 22 and January 28 2020.