Ernst Middendorp needs Bruce Lee in his life, a man with the agility and flexibility of a cat, to prevent balls from kissing the net.
With the Soweto derby looming large on the horizon, and since he can’t summon martial artist Lee, who died in 1970 — three years before the formation of Chiefs — the German has turned to Daniel “Hulk ” Akpeyi.
The Nigerian recruited from Chippa United on Thursday will have a tough job trying to restore stability between the sticks of Chiefs .
Akpeyi seems to be a short-term solution for Amakhosi as he only penned a one-year, five-month contract.
The season-ending shoulder injury suffered by their trusted No 1 Itumeleng Khune left Amakhosi with a crippling goalkeeping crisis that was compounded by the schoolboy errors of Khune’s deputy, the Namibian Virgil Vries.
The helter-skelter dash to plug the gap in the last line of defence was necessitated by butterfingers Vries, whose boo-boos have cost Chiefs precious points.
Vries has proved to be a gift that keeps on giving with his horror errors. That, combined with the fact that 2018 saw Chiefs obtain the unwanted record of losing three matches to Orlando Pirates in a calendar year, means no staunch Amakhosi supporter would want to stomach an unprecedented straight four Soweto derby losses to the devils next door.
Akpeyi, the only Premier Soccer League (PSL) player who was at the World Cup in Russia, is likely to walk straight into the starting XI to make a sensational debut for Chiefs — they don’t come any bigger than the biggest soccer clash in the country.
Vries’ catalogue of errors rival those of his three counterparts at Bucs as all four seem to be vying for the crown in a contest of the worst goalkeepers.
The latest Vries howler was on display the night before Akpeyi was signed.
Vries failed to hold on to an innocuous Gift Links cross. He spilled the ball and from the resulting goalmouth melee, Edmilson Dove toe-poked home to give Cape Town City a 1-0 victory at FNB Stadium.
MIDDENDORP FACING THE FACTS
The south of Jozi arena appears to be Vries’s favourite platform to perform faux pas. Last month, with only eight minutes remaining, Vries misjudged the bounce of a Lyle Lakay cross and Lebogang Maboe scored to give Mamelodi Sundowns a 2-1 win as the Brazilians leapfrogged Amakhosi on the PSL log standings.
In June Vries was brought in as a backup to fill the void left by the departure of Brilliant Khuzwayo to Pirates.
Interestingly, Khuzwayo hasn’t played a single minute for the Sea Robbers’ senior side as he has been battling his own injury woes.
Vries has proved anything but brilliant. He produced heroics by helping Chiefs progress to the Telkom Knockout quarterfinals at the expense of Black Leopards by saving two penalties from Jean Munganga and Eden Nene. But his bloopers have eroded the confidence of his coach Middendorp, who was at his wits end in the post-match conference where he was asked who was going to be in goal against Pirates on Saturday.
“If it’s Vries again‚ it ’s Vries. If it’s Bruce‚it’s Bruce,” he said, before expressing his exasperation with the Namibian. “It’s nice to protect players‚ which we are doing. On the other hand you must be capable. That’s an easy way to handle this‚ and that ’s simply as it is.
“Of course we didn’t score in the front. But can you not solve this problem at the back‚ in the final stage? I’m definitely facing the facts and I fully understand that at a certain point the supporters are unhappy.
"It’s not to throw somebody under the bus. We lost as a team. We will definitely face it in a clear way.”
Bruce Bvuma is the wet-behind-the-ears goalminder who still needs minding himself and Middendorp may be wary of throwing him in the deep end.
The irony is that this is one department where Chiefs have in the past had an embarrassment of riches...