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WATCH | Tumi Morake on rape ordeal: I carried the shame as if I asked this guy to do it

20 October 2018 - 10:00 By Kyle Zeeman
Tumi Morake is excited about her new book.
Tumi Morake is excited about her new book.
Image: Instagram/ Tumi Morake

As comedian and TV talk show host Tumi Morake launched her memoir, And Then Mama Said she has once again spoken about her rape ordeal, claiming  she made herself as vulnerable and honest as possible to "save lives".

Tumi launched the book at a glitzy event in Johannesburg on Wednesday and told Dennis Ngango that it was both emotional and therapeutic to speak about her life,  and share raw observations on rape, suicide and other issues affecting young people. 

Tumi reflected on how she lost her virginity at 15 years old to rape and the trauma of the incident.

"It is a frightening thing when you realise someone is going to take something you said they can't have. Anyone who has had their cellphone stolen from them, their car hijacked will know to a degree what I mean when I say that rape is someone taking something without your permission.

"I wrote about that because I just felt that the focus is always on the victim. It is never  'this guy raped this woman'. It is always 'this woman was raped by...' 'This woman was...' So victims carry the shame. I carried the shame as if I asked this guy to do this to me. As if I invited it on myself. That kind of language has to stop. The only time the focus should be on the victim is when the victim goes: 'I want to share how I felt or how the experience was for me.'"

She went on to explain how the pain of a friend's attempted suicide and the death of several others took their toll on her.

Speaking to TshisaLIVE Tumi said the decision to write the book came after losing those close to her and questioning how long she would have to speak about her life.

"I have buried so many people close to me, young and old and my own sense of mortality left me feeling like I may as well begin my memoirs now. Who is to say I'll be there to tell my own story in ten years time? I also feel like we live in a time when people are so damn hard on themselves and I wanted to share something that reminds people to simply give themselves a chance."