Ayanda Borotho: Men are often marrying a façade and it needs to stop

Having marriage problems? It could be because you have created a façade that is really difficult to maintain, says Isibaya actress Ayanda Borotho.

Ayanda is like the modern day Dr Phil and took to Instagram this week to drop her latest pearls of wisdom. This time she addressed women and the roles they take when getting married,

She said the biggest mistakes women make when looking to settle down is wearing the "wife material facade".

"We mould ourselves into a society box that defines what a 'wife material' woman is. Then he marries the wife you present before him. Meanwhile, this is not all of who you are and sometimes none of it is all you."

Ma reminded the congregation that there are 3-billion women in the world and not everyone can be the same, so why pretend to be something you are not?

She said pretending only led to conflict down the road.

"So you capture the man only to find you can't sustain the act and you want to be yourself. He's mad because his wife is changing, you're mad because he wants to control you or make you into something you're not when the truth is he wants the wife you presented but it was never you in the first place. He married the facade."

She said it was time to break away from the destructive cycle and not pretend.

"These are the choices we have had to make for centuries. To be everything else but ourselves just so we can fit the shoe left for us to wear. No more."