Nyaniso Dzedze opens up about self-doubt in poetic letter to himself

06 April 2019 - 12:00 By KYLE ZEEMAN
Actor Nyaniso Dzedze has opened up about his internal battles.
Actor Nyaniso Dzedze has opened up about his internal battles.
Image: Gallo Images / Sowetan / Veli Nhlapo

Like many of us, actor Nyaniso Dzedze has had a number of personal battles with self-esteem and thinking he isn't good enough.

The star recently gave fans a glimpse of that struggle in a poetic Instagram message titled Conversations with Nyaniso.

"I ask myself why should I get paid to do what I do? Why should people do these offerings I have? Well they don't! No one needs to do anything. You know what you feel called to do. You know what will serve you. You know what your spirit needs. Don't build your energy up convincing yourself that you are fighting me, challenging me and my worth.

"I fight myself enough already. I challenge myself, put my own face in the dirt and raise myself from the ashes daily. Everyday, every post and every offer," part of his post read.

He explained that he had to have these conversations with himself or others would have them with him, leaving him with less control. 

He went on to explore his feelings of inadequacy and balanced this with his accomplishments, including his initiation ceremony, which shaped his ideas of masculinity.

"You know cold nights and scorching hot days, with one blanket a stick and fresh off circumcision no anesthesia, Nyaniso. If there's anyone that knows initiation into manhood and the masculine, you do, Nyaniso. You pulled your masculinity out of your scrotum where a white oppressed black South Africa had left it. Your name, your name means truth, Nyaniso."

The post is the latest in a series by the star dealing with masculinity.

In a previous post he reflected on the obsession with sex and claimed many men used it as a coping mechanism. 

"Everything is sold with sex and men are the biggest consumers. We are not just enjoying the pleasure of sex. We are using sex to cope."