LISTEN | Zolisa Xaluva on toxic parenting: Don’t let your pain reflect in the way you raise your child

30 July 2020 - 08:00
Zolisa Xaluva opens up about playing Melusi on 'Gomora'.
Zolisa Xaluva opens up about playing Melusi on 'Gomora'.
Image: Gallo Images / Lefty Shivambu

Popular actor Zolisa Xaluva has opened up about his Gomora character, sharing how it has taught him the importance of men healing before they take their pain out on their children.

Zolisa has starred in several major productions, including as Diamond on The Queen and Jason on Generations, but has captured hearts with his role as Melusi on the popular Mzansi Magic drama Gomora.

Chatting to TshisaLIVE recently, Zolisa said he is relieved to finally be playing a “good guy”.

Here is what he had to say: 

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He said the role had taught him that men should allow their children to be themselves and not take their personal trauma out on them.

“I am not a father. I have never been a dad, but I learn every day about patience and allowing children to be themselves. Also allowing yourself, as a father, to not allow your own personal pain to be reflective in the way you raise your child. It’s very important to have personal growth before (you have children),” he said, noting that Melusi’s pain is showing in the way he raises his son.

He urged those who see themselves in Melusi’s situation to speak to someone and get help.

“A lot of people, especially black people, can relate. I do personally as well. My dad was very strict growing up. We had a strict upbringing, my brother and I, where there wasn’t much room for your own personal opinion, everything was kind of enforced on you.

“But I am also glad to say that I have a better relationship with my father now as a grown man than when I was younger. I find that he is more of a friend. I think he has also learnt that ‘eish, I don’t need to be the same way to my children as my father was to me.’”

Zolisa has cemented his place as one of the best actors in the country for his roles, but fame has come at a cost for the star. He recently fell victim to a fraudster starting a stokvel scam in his name through a fake Facebook account.

“At first I didn’t mind. I wasn’t offended that someone had stolen my identity, per se, but it became something that started affecting my brand or credibility to some people. This person is now extorting money from people using my name ... some people have fallen for it, unfortunately. It really bothers me.”