OPINION | It’s the audacity men have, that male entitlement that infuriates me!

I'm just gonna start off by saying, this conversation is exhausting. We, as women, are genuinely tired of explaining something that we think is simple but men insist on making complicated because it doesn't suit them. This conversation is: “women don't owe men s***".

Perhaps the fact that I have to pen this opinion piece (read mini open letter) to add to the stacks of letters, millions of tweets and other social media and real life expressions from women globally, all asking men to JUST LET THEM BE, attests to why we're exhausted.  

Men understand freedom of everything except when it comes to freedom to be a woman. All of a Sunday a woman can't be this, or she's labelled as that, and if she dares to do this, then she's definitely that.

Most recent and perfect example: Some narrow-minded man decided that by sharing her casual dating experiences, vlogger Mihlali Ndamase was applying for leader of the “loose girls club” and was essentially telling young women to whore themselves out to various men.

This is dumb. You and I know that the nincompoop's opinion is dumb, but he and his host of friends see nothing wrong with jumping to that conclusion.

That is why Mihlali can't be blamed for losing her cool and going off, on her Insta stories.

In her scathing response, sis said everything that needed to be said and you would think that these men would actually hear her ... but nah.

The responses men flooded the TL with after Mihlali's video went viral were everything from patronising to infuriating ... I pulled up a couple of tweets, lest I be accused of making up such opinions ...

I had to leave numerous responses out because in addition to the insults, some men jumped on the TL to say Mihlali's freedom was “exactly” why women got killed. Sigh.

It's shocking how men, in 2020, think their unsolicited advice and random comments mean sh** to us. Imagine thinking, as a man, that you get to dictate what makes a “good” woman ... Chile, the guts nje!

You know what's the gag? Women are doing the work. Women are introspecting, unlearning, making themselves better, securing the bag and the qualifications, having the necessary conversations, reclaiming their power in various ways, dealing with things life (and men) throw at them ... healing and doing all that while looking glorious! 

Meanwhile, men, instead of dealing with childhood traumas, societal expectations and mental health issues, they choose to blame those issues for becoming sh**** men.

They then grow up to be abusers, murders, rapists...

Instead of fixing themselves to become better men and deal with the MOUNTAIN of issues weighing them down ... these men would rather “s**t shame” women, make excuses for why single mothers should allow deadbeat dads to see their children, dictate what body type is “the right” one for a woman to have and the list goes on. 

Yerrr ... *insert swear word*

It's enough!