'They want us to be freaks but also virgins': Lesego Tlhabi slams men policing women's bodies
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Image: Twitter/Coconut Kelz
“Men don’t like women who are enthusiastic about sex.”
There are the words of Lesego Tlhabi, satirist behind Coconut Kelz, who weighed in on men policing women’s bodies.
On Wednesday, a video of beauty influencer Mihlali Ndamase went viral after clapping back at men who labelled her a “b*tch” for dating casually.
In the video, Ndamase clapped back hard, telling entitled men where to get off.
“Men need to stop thinking they have a f**king opinion on women's bodies and what women do and their decisions. It has nothing to do with you, you are not going to come and police my behaviour, my decisions, my choices in 2020. This is not your mother's house,” she said.
Weighing in on men having an opinion on women's bodies, Tlhabi said men need to get off women's WAPs. (Listen to Cardi B's latest song to know what a WAP is).
“We as a country are very conservative when it comes to dating. Dating is very much how Mihlali has explained it for single women outside these judgemental a** borders. A different date every day even. And sex if you want and are safe,” said Tlhabi.
We as a country are very conservative when it comes to dating. Dating is very much how Mihlali has explained it for single women outside these judgemental ass borders. A different date every day even. And sex if you want and are safe. Get off our WAPs 🙄🙄🙄 https://t.co/qk4l9kfu10
— Lesego Tlhabi (@LesegoTlhabi) August 26, 2020
She said men can't stand sexually liberated women because they like to “force it out of us”.
“They like having to coerce it or force it out of us. Anything else and we’re ho*s. They want us to be freaks but also virgins. It’s gross and we need to stop giving them air time on our bodies and lives,” she said.
A word: Men don’t like women who are enthusiastic about sex. They like having to coerce it or force it out of us. Anything else and we’re hoes. They want us to be freaks but also virgins. It’s gross and we need to stop giving them air time on our bodies and lives.
— Lesego Tlhabi (@LesegoTlhabi) August 26, 2020
Tlhabi also clapped back at a troll who quoted US singer Beyoncé about how women should behave in public and in private.
“I don’t [know] what Beyoncé‘s words have to do with me but this is also nonsense that being sexual isn’t being 'ladylike'. What an antiquated term as well. Ladylike is subjective and patriarchal bullsh*t and isn’t related to how we choose to celebrate our bodies or enjoy sex,” said Tlhabi.
I don’t what Beyoncé‘s words have to do with me but this is also nonsense that being sexual isn’t being “ladylike”. What an antiquated term as well. Ladylike is subjective (and patriarchal bullshit) and isn’t related to how we choose to celebrate our bodies or enjoy sex. https://t.co/axQPXYEq1P
— Lesego Tlhabi (@LesegoTlhabi) August 26, 2020
Most social media users agreed with Tlhabi's statement. Here is a snapshot of some of the reactions.
In my dating years, men would be ok with telling me this isn't serious. Then get hacked when I told them if it isn't serious for them, it isn't serious for me either ✌️ They'd expect me - a whole me - to be sitting at home waiting by the phone 😅 Stress
— Janine J 💕 (@janine_j) August 26, 2020
Our parents have also instilled this uyayazi iSexual guilt or slut shaming yourself 🤧because sexual liberation was always made to seem disgraceful “uyafeba” yhu💀 let’s not even get into the whole body count conversation and staying in toxic situations to avoid increasing it https://t.co/fuQkPL4dLK
— LoveChild🍒🍉🍇 (@LoveNgcebo) August 26, 2020
I got annoyed that she had to explain herself. SA men are proving time and time again how unprogressive they are. My goodness. https://t.co/E3ar01OyuL
— If I were a flower – I’d be a Pink Rose (@SeipatiM17) August 26, 2020
This adds to my point I made about men seeing us as “sub-human” and that the only value we have is relative to our value for them. Any autonomy that we have over our decisions and bodies are met with name calling because “how dare we live our own lives without their permission” https://t.co/rLOAI5lbXL
— I Am Nacho Girl🦹🏽♀️ (@sassyparodia) August 26, 2020
Did you know that we have a whole department of Women, Youth Persons & Persons with disabilities.
— Steel Magnolia (@Jaxx_Amahle) August 26, 2020
Can anyone tell me what that minister and her department have done for women since last August? Besides sending prayers and condolences?
"We condemn..." BORINGTON 🙄😤
the truth is men don't really like women who are enthusiastic about sex , they like to coerce and force it out of us . @LesegoTlhabi said it❤.
— grootwoman (@ItsmihleT) August 26, 2020
Definitely. And our mothers and aunts have internalized it and also become young women’s body police. It’s tragic
— Lesego Tlhabi (@LesegoTlhabi) August 26, 2020
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