Ayanda Borotho on why she used to hate her body: 'I hated being sexualised'

Isibaya actress and author Ayanda Borotho, who has been on a journey of self-love, has opened up about her body insecurities and why she hated her body for the longest time.

In a caption of a snap of herself, Ayanda admitted it has taken her a long time to accept her body for what it is after hating it for a long time. 

“I hated this body. From when I was a child I hated this body. I didn't like the 'African pear' shape and the hips and bums that I knew brought the kind of attention I didn't like. I hated being sexualised,” she said.

The actress went on to explain how other women would use her body as a weapon to hurt her feelings and confidence. Ayanda said she also resorted to saying “nasty” and hurtful things to other women as a coping mechanism for the often negative remarks she would get because of her body shape and features.

Ayanda admitted that even though she's since taken the responsibility to love and embrace her body, she still struggled with insecurities. She also used the opportunity to let others who may share similar feelings about their bodies know they are not alone.

“I still struggle with body insecurities. Ask anyone who has had to dress me. Hide this, cover that. Getting to embrace your body is constant work. Today I just wanted to tell you, you're not alone. Sometimes it's okay to feel like you're not enough. As long as you don't stay there too long,” Ayanda said.

Read her full love letter to self below:

I hated this body. From when I was a child I hated this body. I didn't like the “African pear” shape and the hips and bums that I knew brought the kind of attention I didn't like. I hated being sexualised. Other women would hurt me when they pointed out how it was the bum and hips that attracted the men. That I had the “right assets”.

I hated that people would say they wish they had smaller breasts like mine. I wanted bigger breasts. So much so that I contemplated a boob job (nothing wrong with that). And then there were those who laughed that I had small breasts. Until I learnt a come back that says “at least after 3 babies they don't sag. I still have virgin boobs.” But even that was nasty. It was however my defence mechanism.

The truth is after 3 babies, I can tell you it's hard to love your body. Cellulite, stretch marks ... the works but I realise now that what I hated was more the entitlement of opinions about my body from other people. Sometimes it doesn't take having children. It is the unkindness that the world spits out so that we can maintain a standard that they themselves can't. But I also have to own the responsibility of answering or taking on those opinions and plastering the negative words on my body.

I still struggle with body insecurities. Ask anyone who has had to dress me. Hide this, cover that ... Getting to embrace your body is constant work. Today I just wanted to tell you, you're not alone. Sometimes, it's okay to feel like you're not enough. As long as you don't stay there too long. #UnbecomingToBecome#BecomingMe#MyJourneyBackToSelf