Sello Maake Ka-Ncube aims to fight GBV through conversations with his sons

With 16 days of activism against gender-based violence (GBV) already 13 days in, veteran actor and father to four sons and one daughter Sello Maake Ka-Ncube has started a conversation with his children on GBV.

As his way of teaching and curbing the rising scourge of gender-based violence in the country, Sello has taken up the task to educate his sons on the importance of treating women with respect and dignity no matter the situation.

In an interview with TshisaLIVE, Sello emphasised how gender-based violence was caused by how children were raised, their various backgrounds and the issues they face such as absent father figures.

“There are conversations that I shared in the past but where the conversations began strongly was in 1998 during a play on toxic masculinity that comes from my own history ... I created a play that deals with toxic masculinity and 20 years later we are still dealing with such issues,” he said.

“The problem we're still dealing with that is because we are not having genuine conversations. We don't want to address things as they are ... We politicise issues regarding gender-based violence.

“This is a human condition problem but it gets politicised ... This has to do with the environment that we live in and how children are raised and what is almost permissible in your environment. It has to do with addressing issues of absent fatherhood.” 

Sello expressed how important it was for South Africans to realise how serious GBV is.

“We need to deal and confront things that are actually influencing this to be a pandemic and really be honest about them. I am having conversations with my sons which are honest and genuine ... They know that I have children with multiple women, this is something I have addressed with my sons.

“I have conversations with them saying, 'Look, majita, what do you say of this?' and they will be all cagey, saying, 'Well, you know baba, it's OK,' and I'd be like, 'No, it's not OK.'”

Sello said he gave his sons an example of how when he had to see them, he had to deal with five different women asking them (his sons) whether it was OK that he did that to the mothers of his children.

“What we don't see with this behaviour is that men think they can have babies and leave — that's invisible violence. I have looked at times where we call it 'baby mama drama' and I have seen the hurt that I've caused the mothers of children ... it's not a pretty sight.”