Real Housewives of Durban star Nonku Williams' admissions during the show's reunion episode this week reopened the debate on the best time to introduce the person you are dating to your children.
Earlier this year, viewers watched as Nonku told Slee and Mbali she was planning to introduce her children to her boyfriend Dumisani “RD” Ndlazi after less than three months of dating.
The pair questioned whether it was too soon, but Nonku was sure it was the right move.
Like her friends, many viewers were suspicious of RD, or the man Nonku called a “rough diamond” (RD).
So it was little surprise that Nonku admitted on the show this week they were no longer together.
“From the beginning he told me everything. That he was arrested for rape ... I fell in love with him, you know. And I saw a side to him that everybody didn’t see.”
She broke down when asked about RD's whereabouts and how it ended.
It sparked a discussion on when is the best time to introduce your new bae to your children. While some people said you should only let them meet when you are ready to walk down the aisle, others said it was better to be transparent from the start.
Many said you should research the person and make sure they are trustworthy before introducing them to your children.
According to Trauma Care, it is better to introduce your new bae to your children when the relationship is “happy, stable and you are sure the relationship has a future”.
“Children learn about how to behave from us. Try to avoid exposing them to a succession of fleeting partners. Adults arriving and then leaving their lives, once they have become attached, can affect our children’s ability to form long-lasting relationships in the future. It can also be unsettling for them.”
They advise talking about the person who is becoming special and whom you would like them to meet before the intro.
Experts at online resource Family and Divorce Law suggest keeping the first meeting brief and informal.
“Opt for a neutral location, such as a restaurant or park, and ask for your children's input on the venue. Avoid including your partner's children in this initial meeting.
“Before considering an overnight stay with your new partner, ensure your relationship is stable and long-lasting.”
Support independent journalism by subscribing to the Sunday Times. Just R20 for the first month.
Would you like to comment on this article?
Sign up (it's quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.