The obsession with aesthetics, sex and the two-pot system: a 360º approach to wellness for women

On Wednesday TshisaLIVE had the privilege of attending Kaya 959's empowering Ladies' 360 Brunch, where a group of dynamic women gathered for a day of discussions and connection.

The event, which was testament to the power of community and the importance of prioritising women's wellness, brought together women from various backgrounds and industries, united by a shared desire to uplift and support one another.

Actress Joanne Reyneke, media personality Mpho Maboi and Buhlebendalo were among the women in attendance, as well as singer Brenda Mtambo who graced the stage to serenade the audience. 

Through holistic discussions, we delved into pressing concerns and topics relevant to women's lives, from mental health and self-care to career development and relationships.

The sisterhood atmosphere in the room made it easy for attendees to feel comfortable sharing their experiences and insights.  

Here's a look at some of the conversations.  

STYLE

With so many trends it's hard to gauge whether you should jump on the bandwagon. However, fashion stylist Mpumi Ntintili recommends classic timeless pieces to make sure you stand out and look chic. 

“Styling is about storytelling. You have to look at yourself. Innately we know who we are and what we are trying to project. What are you trying to project when you step into the space?

“You need to think about what are you trying to say about yourself, not the impression I'm trying to make about myself.” 

SEX AND INTIMACY

Sexologist Dr Mpumi Zenda spoke of how many women tend not to feel comfortable in their own bodies as society does not empower sexual pleasure as a woman's right.   

“There is a big gap in sexual education,” she said. 

“Sexual intimacy has to line up with your own value system of who you are, even when it comes to self pleasure.”

AESTHETICS

Beauty standards have been shaped for many to perceive that the lighter you are the more beautiful you are. Qondi Makume from Skin Q Medical Aesthetics admits many clients who come to her practice ask to look “brighter”, meaning they want to get shades lighter than they are.  

“Most of the time women ask to look brighter,” she said.

This obsession has caused desperation in many people who may go as far as finding unqualified and cheaper “practitioners” to help them achieve this aesthetic. 

The secret is in a 2l bottle of water, Qondi said.

You don't have to try to change the tone of your skin to enhance its beauty. 

MENTAL HEALTH 

Therapy allows you to stop and introspect on how you feel. Healing is a necessary element everyone needs to go through, said counselling psychologist Buyisile Mncina. 

“Healing work is eternal work. You get to a point where there is greater insight, there's more understanding and your healing process fits the phase. Sometimes you want to get into a process of healing but it's not time yet. You must endure and feel certain things. Allow your body and your mind to embrace what has happened to it,” she said.

TWO-POT SYSTEM 

According to Momentum, from September 1 retirement savings will be split into a vested savings and retirement component, where people will have access to a cash portion if they require a withdrawal (savings component) while preserving the rest for retirement (retirement component).

Financial expert Mapalo Makhu said while many might see this as the saving grace for emergencies, because less than 10% of South Africans retire comfortably she advised people rather let all their money accumulate for the day they retire. 

“Leave the pots alone. Leave them on the stove to cook. It is not a must that you take money out of your retirement because it is meant for retirement.”