Dear Eskom: allow me to shed my load

Tongue-in-cheek letters to Escom in light of the recent bout of load-shedding

City Power's Louis Pieterse says some areas will have power cuts more frequently compared to others. "It depends on how many megawatts you have to shed that will then allow for certain suburbs to be shed more frequently." - Eyewitness News, November 3rd

I carefully studied the load-shedding schedule for my suburb and took all necessary precautions. But then, at the designated hour, the lights stayed on. Same thing the next day. And the next. Hello? Eskom? What now must I do with all these candles? - Nomalanga, Glen Park

Power supply in our area very unpredictable. For example, it went off on Thursday night just before the Liverpool-Real Madrid game. It came on again in time for the second half but then the only channel working was the Discovery Channel. I had to watch a doccie about corrugated iron for an hour and then luckily the power went out again. WTF Eskom? - Huxley, Blairgowrie

Last night it seemed like our whole suburb had been extinguished. My flat was so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. When my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I saw I was pulling a zap sign at myself. Moreover, I had tied my shoelaces together. And I was wearing a clown suit! - Pravesh, Musina

Load-shedding so bad in our area the clocks have stopped - even wind-up clocks and those that run on batteries. I have confirmed this with others. I had to manually phone the operator for the time. She said that when I heard the signal it would be one minute too late. I said, "Too late for what?" She laughed and hung up. Eskom, I don't know how much more of this I can take. - Rhesus, Douglasdale

Two weeks of power cuts have taken a serious toll. The birds in our suburb have started singing at night. When the sun rises, they turn to stare at it mutely, as if surprised. The phone book has grown thinner. There are ominous figures in the shrubbery. My neighbour has started calling her husband "Commander". - Aimee, Port Shepstone

Load-shedding worse than I could have imagined. I came home for lunch to find the suburb in darkness at half past one in the afternoon! I edged my way into the hall and phoned my friend, but the line was so bad I couldn't make out her words. Suddenly exhausted, I lay down to take a nap. As I drifted off to sleep, it occurred to me that the woman on the phone may not have been my friend.- Duda, Hurleyvale

We've been so long without power now it's hard to recall what it feels like. We go to bed early because what else to do? Even in our dreams there are outages. Two nights ago, after much tossing and turning, I found myself at a candlelit wedding in an abandoned substation. A wind blowing up off the dam made the flames duck and weave. The pastor wore a surgical mask and kept deliberately mispronouncing the groom's name. The air smelled like dirt and shadows. Seriously, Eskom, where will it all end? - Bob, Rocklands