If you have shouted these words and other unprintable expletives then, my friend, you need to find a pre-owned PT Cruiser fast. Eternally on the receiving end of critics since birth, this pimped example of Chrysler's boldly designed MPV showcases exactly what can be achieved with a little bit of passion, fairly deep pockets, and a wild streak running through your veins.
The styling of this silver beauty delves deep into the rich, hot-rod heritage that was cleverly injected into the PT Cruiser.
Proudly American in its outfitting, this PT also bludgeons any femininity previously associated with this car.
Our local ladies may have been awestruck by this car but are expected to be the last ones who'd want their Cruiser looking so hairy.
What exactly has gone into making this stunner, also nicknamed the Groozer?
Firstly, it's the custom bodywork. Not entirely though, as the base shape is retained.
Work has been done on the rear, where a custom tailgate with the classic two-piece split window is fitted, as is a special rear bumper.
This integrates with the tailgate and modified C-pillars, which now feature special hinges that allow fitment of suicide doors.
Without departing totally from the standard street version, the flanks of this Groozer are characterised by special, extra-flared wheel arches, with slightly elongated tips to truly capture the essence of the 30s inspired design.
The shiniest spoked alloy rims gloriously finish off its side profile.
A unique nose grille dominates the front. It's a beak that our favourite loonies at ASMA Design would be proud of.
There's not a lot more in front, which is great, as less is more. It's only a set of bright fog lamps that add to the undeniably hot visuals.
The bonnet too is not the regular unit fitted by Chrysler. It's a specially made piece aimed at falling perfectly in line with the gigantic nose appendage, as well as leading the flow of lines that integrate with the rest of the body's shut line language.
A forward-facing cap, which has absolutely nothing to do with gaining optimum aerodynamics is fitted.
It's an artistic piece and one that truly tips a hat to the hot-rod culture of past decades.
Overall, this is a work of incredible pimp-masonry. After seeing this car, I think the best thing would be to rummage through our advert section to find a PT Cruiser. I've already begun.
Just R20 for the first month. Support independent journalism by subscribing to our digital news package. 
