Meryl Steep talks about her butt and separate bathrooms

ACTRESS Meryl Streep, 62, is reassuringly normal to meet.

She seems skittish, talking fast, her laugh sometimes a wicked cackle. She is of Dutch immigrant stock and was educated at top American universities, Vasser and Yale. She has been married to sculptor Don Gummer for 33 years. They live on a farm in the wilds of Connecticut and have four children, two of whom, Mamie and Grace, are actors. She is the most nominated actor in Oscar history (17 times) and has already won twice

Playing Thatcher has left me in awe of her. She was an incredibly divisive figure and whatever I felt on her politics, I admired her willingness to be a "love-me-or-hate-me" kind of leader. She had a gargantuan energy and it was a challenge just to get enough breath in my lungs to say her words.

My career has allowed me to be who I want to be. For example, I am so full of gratitude to director Robert Altman for giving me a chance to sing in A Prairie Home Companion. It was pure joy, because in my youth I studied opera. At home, my children have forbidden me to do any singing, especially if they've got friends around. They are so embarrassed!

I realise I am a sprinter who runs in fits and starts. I'm obsessive about details and the finer points on a project, and then I back off, slipping quickly into my own life again.

Making choices is like a corridor full of doors, and the question is, which one do you want to open? The answer is that I do not know until I try one of them and see what is there.

My jobs get a little bit harder. As you get older, you question more each time. Then there's the agony of not knowing if it is going to work. When I get good critical reaction, it is very satisfying. I particularly like it when young people like my work.

I am attracted by characters that many people would find detestable. I am keen to find out what drives them. Recently, they have been women who are aggressive and gorgons. But then, often these are the parts they are writing for women of my age. I keep getting into trouble saying things like that about my roles. Inevitably, the next day, there'll be a newspaper article that says: "Streep blasts Hollywood for writing dragon parts for women."

I always remember what Catherine Deneuve says: After a certain age you can have your face or you can have your ass, it's one or the other. Well, I've chosen my face, and I'll sit on the rest!

I've realised that acting is something I do for myself. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. But it's a separate thing. I am not living through my husband or my children.

Separate bathrooms are essential to a happy marriage.

Having children, you're poised between hope and despair all the time, hoping for the best and worried that something is going to come out of the blue. These are the things you can't control, but you do as much as you can. Of course, it was the same for my mother.

I've given up trying to be a cinephile. I don't have an encyclopaedic knowledge of movies. I have a very busy life, a career that's time-consuming and four kids, and don't go out a lot to the movies. I can barely keep up with the current crop to responsibly vote on behalf of the Academy Awards each year.

I hate to have my picture taken. I usually like the only one they've taken where they've scraped all that crap off my face.

I don't ever revisit my work, but a few years ago I was honoured by a televised retrospective. Just seeing the snippets reminded me that it's been a really long, interesting journey with a lot of amazingly talented people.

I don't know if I've got the balance right on my life. The jury's out and nobody's in jail, yet. I'm just f***ing grateful to be alive. No complaints!

• The Iron Lady is on circuit .