Dozy Caf boss catches up on his beauty sleep

THE seats in the Moses Mabhida Stadium presidential suites are so extra-Posturepedic they send the aged to snoozeland. How else can Tsamaya explain Confederations of African Football president Issa "Old Geezer" Hayatou snoozing as he sat next to Zulu King Goodwill Zwelithini? We suspect fumes from Durban Poison in the air dribbled the Cameroon dinosaur into submission.

APPARENTLY Hayatou's snoring was louder than the monotonous drone of the vuvuzelas and could be heard all the way to Yaounde, where his grandchildren could tell their granddad was way past his bed time.

Democratic Republic of Congo goalkeeper Robert Kidiaba gets our award for celebration of the tournament so far for his "bouncing bumshuffle" after his side's dramatic comeback against Ghana. But SuperSport analyst Mamadou Gaye was less impressive with his impersonation of it, which was less bounce, less shuffle, more fall on one's ass, shift around and wriggle.

EISH, Benni, that jacket! McCarthy has rightfully taken his place among SuperSport's star-studded analyst team for Afcon. But his jacket looks like it's five years old, from when the striker was still a thin gazelle. It fits so badly it folds up behind his neck. Whatever you do, Benni, just don't exhale!

BAFANA Bafana must be commended for having turned down win bonuses for their first-round matches and for the semifinal. But was it reverse psychology? They have impressed Sports minister Fikile Mbalula so much that he's promised them a healthy bonus should they win the tournament. Now that's the razzmatazz we're talking about.

BUT seriously, minister, is it really necessary to meet the team before every game and call a press conference after every win. We thought pre- and post-match team talks were coach Gordon Igesund's job. Careful, Gordon, perhaps Mbalula's angling for something here?

TSAMAYA has learnt with shock that some newspaper groups have not bothered to send their own writers to each venue, instead relying on copy from press agencies. These same groups send reporters on overseas cricket and rugby tours at a cost of hundreds of thousands of rands. We think some of these dinosaurs, who remain oblivious to what their football-loving readers want, should start harassing grannies in old-age homes now, 'cos they have no place in the media any more.

LONG-TIME Durban football writer Carl Peters was quite a player in his day. The heavy-set scribe is not so mobile any more, but he's still got his skill and a shot from hell. In a media indoor game this week, Peters went for the spectacular with an overhead kick and almost scored. When he landed, we're told the ground shook as if a KwaZulu-Natal rhino had just landed from the sky.