Homework for parents of children who hate it

Many homes turn into battlegrounds at homework time. Educational psychologist Anand Ramphal has this advice for parents:

Stay calm. Countless parents have much bigger problems with their children;

Do not nag, yell or threaten. Such tricks (as you have probably already found) do not work with most children. The more you insist, the more they resist. We do not want a power struggle to develop;

Remember that a "homework doer" is hiding somewhere inside your child. Your job as a parent is to find him. For example, what you may see as being lazy is often a cover that the child uses to fail himself (by not trying). This is much easier for him to bear than having his teacher fail him. So your first job is to discover the real reason behind his lack of interest in school work and homework. Here you may need a professional assessment;

Do not just quit. Continue being involved in a kind and concerned way. Many parents have found that the time comes when their patience bears fruit. It is almost as if a light bulb goes on in the child's head;

Offer to help or, better still, get him help. You would be amazed at how competent we adults are at handling other people's children - and at finding faults in them;

Give praise when the homework is completed, offer an incentive when your child gets down to work without complaining or arguing, and celebrate when you see a new and more positive pattern starting to emerge; and

Do not do your child's homework for him. Guide him.