House sitter leaves note 'jumped on trampoline, bruised penis'

Reddit user sosomething posted this note by a friend who was house-sitting for him, detailing how he doesn't trust birds and might not quite understand how trampolines work.

"The events described in the note, well, I'm hoping those are fictional," sosomething said.

The note describes a week of questionable house-sitting practises, starting with the house sitter bruising his penis on a trampoline and going on to muse about a strange bird involved in a soap conspiracy.

It also goes on to describe how after the perilous penile plunge on the trampoline, sosomething's toiletries eased the pain.

"Don't worry, put back what I didn't use," the house sitter reassured his friend.

"I'm sure he was trolling us. He's the kind of person I trust to watch over my house and my dogs while we're out of town. I talked to him while we were driving home - he didn't mention the note but it was totally normal. I think he just left it as a joke for us to find," sosomething said.