How to dress for the Trumpocalypse

19 January 2017 - 11:46 By Yolisa Mkele
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The world's going a bit crazier tomorrow as Donald Trump is inaugurated as President of the USA, so ensure you're appropriately attired

Tomorrow is international Trump Day, the day when His Grace Donald Trump will perch his wizened caboose on the American throne.

Occasions like this require pomp and ceremony. If you find yourself unsure of what to wear on this most auspicious of days, here is a handy guide to dressing the part on Trump Day:

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FOR DETRACTORS

Don the widest sombrero you can find. Pair that with a mariachi suit and go forth and preach your solidarity with your Mexican brethren.

If you're looking to register your Mexican-themed protest in a more airy sense then try find a huipil, a traditional Mexican woman's garment made from a few pieces of rectangular cloth, ribbons and other decorative elements.

FOR SUPPORTERS

You are finally free! For years you've been oppressed by the politically correct and social justice warriors. Now you finally get to be yourself, which entails expressing your myriad of politically incorrect views. Take the first step towards that goal in a two- tone shirt and khaki Hi-Tec boots.

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If you aren't interested in dressing like Oom Frikkie, hop onto Amazon and browse through the plethora of Trump paraphernalia . From caps to socks the web is your bigoted oyster.

If you are an original supporter you can even whip out one of your Hillary Clinton-inspired "Lock Her Up" shirts.

Sadly, if you are only ordering from Amazon now, your goodies will not arrive when Lord Trump takes the sceptre in hand. Do not despair, however, because he appreciates the sentiment.

FOR EVERYONE ELSE

Adopt a "wait and see" approach. Gauge the mood in your group and tailor your look appropriately. Do this well enough and over the next four to eight days you will be known as "the chameleon that gets to gleefully perch on both sides of the fence" by the gossipmongers in your group. Just remember Trump detractors are not always fond of irony and his supporters tend to dislike colours.

This article was originally published in The Times.

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