Full monty all part of daily bump and grind at Teaze-Hers

Jack's no Channing Tatum, but he's ripped and he promises us eight hours of fun - for only R10 000. We think, yeah right.

"Don't you want a lap dance?" he urges again. That's only R500.

"It will be worth your while. Or a body shot. It will be the best you ever had," he promises.

In his black leather pants, he dazzles with his wildly impressive pole dancing skills, expertly thrusting his body back and forth to the sound of Def Leppard'sPour Some Sugar On Me.

The 28-year-old Bon Jovi fanatic is one of five topless men who pounce on our table.

It's hard to ignore their pleas; they're only there to make money and will do whatever it takes to convince even the most uninterested woman to fork out some cash - for anything.

We settle for a full table dance with a shy guy named Fortune at six hundred bucks for a 20-minute show.

He approaches us seductively. First up is the "stripper's hug", during which he burrows his head between his female client's breasts. Another gets to rub pink body lotion on his body.

It's hard not to scream "Take it off!" But we are only here for a laugh.

For those willing, Fortune's price includes a lick of sorts, in the face.

Teaze-Hers, which caters for women and gay men, is on the second floor of the main Teazers building in Rivonia, northern Johannesburg.

We watch four shows, including one by Fortune and another by two brothers who are available for joint private sessions.

"I've been here four years. One more year and I get my photo on the wall," says Jack, pointing to the A2-sized posters of strippers who have gone before - Legends of the Game, they're called.

Jack says he has broken just about every record in the club - and that includes knocking back 34 tequilas off the bodies of excited women in one night.

Smooth and charming, Jack is as excellent a salesman as he is a dancer.

Striker slides into the booth with us to try his luck.

"How you doing?" he asks, his clean-shaven face breaking into a charming smile.

"It's quiet on Thursdays," he says. "Mostly it's a night for couples and gays. Saturday night is the night to be here."

It's nearly time for the first show- there's one every hour.

Striker is up first. The pot-bellied waiter warns: "What happens in Teaze-Hers stays in Teaze-Hers."

But he adds, encouragingly: "The more you scream, the more he takes off."

Enter Striker. Blue jeans and plaid shirt.

He's not the best dancer, but he's well-versed in the art of body shots.

Striker needs little encouragement as he slowly peels the clothes off his well-toned body.

Jeans are not the easiest thing to slip out off - a slight fumble, but, with a lot of encouragement, Striker is down to his red G-string.

He's a little shy, wrapping a towel around his waist before removing the G-string.

A couple more yelps of encouragement and Striker's full monty is exposed - briefly, but it's an eyeful.

Tipping is essential, and after a five-minute routine, Striker climbs on top of the table urging patrons to use their mouths to slip a tip into his G-string.

The back stories of how these handsome, eager-to-please young men came to work at Teaze-Hers are stranger than fiction. Blame Magic Mike, a movie about male strippers featuring Tatum's famous abs. Or The Full Monty, a hilarious British flick about out-of-work and out-of-shape wannabe strippers.

Striker, the least-tattooed of the bunch - and with less obvious charm than his pal Jack - says: "I did a little of everything and I was tired of it.

"So one day I though I'd just try out being a stripper. And I came here and got the job."

Fresh-faced Zack, only 23, is studying for his master's in biokinetics. True story, we're told.

"I do this because I like it. I'm tall [over 2m] and good-looking, so why not?"

He gestures towards a younger version of himself.

"That's my brother, Thai. He has a huge penis," he says proudly, pointing to a young man barely out of high school.

The Price of Pleasure

THE MENU FOR HER

R600 for a full monty table dance

R150 for a body shot

R500 for a lap dance

R1550 for a private hour-long "chitchat"

THE MENU FOR HIM

R300 for a table dance

R500 for a lap dance

R700 for a couple or "booby" dance

R800 for a "lesbian" dance

R1400 for a 30-minute private dance

R2200 for an hour

laganparsadm@sundaytimes.co.za, ndabenik@sundaytimes.co.za, prinslool@sundaytimes.co.za