Sex Talk: What makes a woman lose interest in sex?

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng answers your sex questions

Q: What makes a woman lose interest in sex? My girlfriend says she cannot feel stimulated after I cheated on her. She says it hurts when we make love. Please help.

A: The answer is contained partly in your question as you are able to identify when the sex problems started.

It may be that you are concerned about the sex. However, it sounds like there are residual relationship issues regarding the infidelity that need to be worked out.

Infidelity remains one of the things that can change a relationship for a long time and sometimes forever.

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When a person cheats, trust gets broken, resentment sets in, and anger may linger for a long time. Intimacy often winds down to a point where the people in the relationship are unable to show affection or have sex.

Some people find that they cannot fully express or receive physical intimacy or have sex if the relationship issues have not been resolved.

This may explain the lack of interest in sex that your girlfriend is experiencing. Unresolved resentment may lead to arousal problems and vaginal dryness, which can result in painful sex.

As a couple, you may benefit from individual and couple's counselling to navigate this confusing and hurtful period. Working at communication may help you get to a point where you can rebuild the relationship, or end it.

• Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, DISA Clinic, 011-886-2286, visit Safersex.co.za

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