What do 'Nicholas Nickleby', 'Goodbye', 'Mr Chips', 'Scent of a Woman', 'Dead Poets Society', the 'Harry Potter' series and our own John van der Ruit's 'Spud' series have in common? Yes, all are set in boarding school. When I read Spud, many of the descriptions were eerily familiar - yet simultaneously starkly different to my experience of boarding school. The dissonance probably lies in the size of the cheques our respective parents parted with. Van der Ruit went to Michaelhouse, after all.The practice of sending one's kids to live with someone else who will tutor them is ancient. The Latin phrase to describe the phenomenon is in loco parentis.The first time I heard it, an impudent classmate of mine at Inkamana High was back-chatting Sister Mary-George when she turned and hissed in her most Bavarian accent, "Remember, young man, zat I am in loco parentis where you are concerned and zat I can ship you home at any moment."story_article_left1Some take to boarding school life like capitalists to worker exploitation. Others respond in much the same way as I imagine Whitey Basson would to minimum wages.I belonged in the first group. So did my first-born, Ntobeko, when we sent him to Kearsney College at age 13.For parents who never went to boarding school themselves, the decision is tough.I have heard horror stories of hellholes that are a cross between Shawshank prison and Oliver Twist's reformatory.Personally, I'd do it all again.When you spend 90% of your time within a 50-metre radius of the same guys for five years you end up being so like-minded that it guarantees you lifelong friends.There are other invaluable lessons one assimilates in boarding school, the most important being that getting along with as many people as possible goes a long way towards making your life easier.I learnt this the hard way early on when I had a run-in with this chap from Newcastle. When he came to make peace, I snubbed him. What I'd forgotten was that home for him was about 100km from school. My parents lived more than 350km away. Regular weekend visitors for him meant a steady supply of KFC, Baker's Choice Assorted and Oros.I spent many Saturday afternoons outside of his circle of snacks, pretending that the aroma of KFC wafting through the dormitory didn't bother me.block_quotes_start Some take to boarding school life like capitalists to worker exploitation.Others respond in much the same way as I imagine Whitey Basson would to minimum wages block_quotes_endI also learnt that poverty is relative.When I lived at home, I never gave any thought to toothpaste. I'd squeeze the stuff all over the bristles, the handle and even my fingers. Especially after Close-Up came up with that blue, translucent variant that made it seem OK to swallow just a little bit.Fast forward to boarding school where toothpaste was more valuable than gold. I would squeeze and squeeze that tube for a good three weeks after it appeared to be empty and yet it continued to yield more toothpaste. When it could no longer be squeezed, I would wiggle the tube until it snapped. Scraped, the inner lining of the tube would provide enough toothpaste for another two weeks. Finally, I came to the conclusion that it is impossible to actually finish a tube of toothpaste. Ditto, a jar of Vaseline.story_article_right2I also learnt that the lack of an iron does not mean walking around all wrinkled. Correctly folded and placed between one's mattress and the base of the bed, a uniform can be perfectly ironed.I went to boarding school in Vryheid, a notoriously cold part of the country, where I discovered that when my mom told me that socks could only be worn once, she was fibbing. Socks are a gift that keeps on giving. Especially thick, grey, uniform socks. In summer, I could wear the same socks for two days without offending any skunks in the vicinity. In winter, with ample aeration, I could stretch it to five days. I will neither confirm nor deny allegations that these lessons find application in my adult life.However, more than anything, boarding school turned me into the notoriously frugal adult I am today. I had no option. Not after my oldest friend, today the CEO of the largest hospital in the country, taught me that a can of Storm deodorant spray could last about nine months. Myself and Mpilo, another classmate, would skulk surreptitiously behind him as he finished his grooming regime. And then he would grab that can, steady himself before pressing that nozzle for exactly 0.07 seconds to each armpit.And to this day, when the bar of Dove shrinks to the size of a rat's pancreas, I don't discard it. I open a new bar and then stick the pancreas to the big one, the way I was taught 30 years ago. Also, I am intrinsically incapable of taking a shower that is longer than five minutes because the other fellows would lash you with wet towels if you took longer than three minutes and 45 seconds, the dormitory rule.The 11-year old midget is in Grade 6. When I remember my boarding school tribulations, I find myself giving him the evil eye and giggling like a cartoon villain.Follow Ngcobo on Twitter @NdumisoNgcobo..