#2015 The year of the brainless hashtag

Social media helped reshape South Africa this year, playing a massive role in keeping those in power accountable to those they are supposed to serve. But the digital generation also showed its forgettable, silly side

We spent 2015 glued to our cellphones with cramped thumbs as we rushed to keep up with the avalanche of hashtags on social media, from reality TV shows to political gaffes and everything in between.

In the new year we look forward to even more inventive hashtags to keep us informed, opinionated and entertained.

story_article_left1

Of course, some hashtags we will never forget because they brought South Africa to a standstill and persuaded the government to listen. Among these were#FeesMustFall, the student-led protest movement that began in mid-October in response to an increase in fees at South African universities, and #RhodesMustFall, which put old-regime statues in the spotlight.

But there are others that have run us ragged and these simply #MustFall.

#AllWhiteParty

- The year 2015 saw virgin white tumble out of the bridal closet and onto the mainstream party scene. The colour usually reserved for weddings and Catholic first holy communions became THE event dress theme for any gathering, from premium champagne A-list parties to kasi picnic festivals. Closets across Mzansi were suddenly bursting with white pants, shirts, dresses and - heaven forbid - shoes.

For months we've been blinded by Facebook and Instagram pictures that look like a 1980s ad for washing powder, and we deserve a reprieve from this trend. Event organisers, please, I beg of you, do not subject us to any more of this torture. Perusing pictures of men in white skinny pants that leave PG13 imprints all over my timeline has been punishment enough.

#MyCousinIsBetterThanYours

- It's wonderful that people seem to have rediscovered family bonds, even if it is just for picture opportunities at the open-air market on a Saturday afternoon, but it's a given that a lot of relationships in the time of Instagram are as sincere as the Valencia photo filter, so we really should check ourselves before making such rash declarations.

#Proverbs31Woman

- Congratulations on being wifed, darling, but you're showing your ugly insecure colours by sub-tweeting your husband's side chicks with this scripture. Save your holier-than-thou attitude for your charismatic church selfies on Sunday, so we can oohhh and aaahhh at your oversized designer shades hiding eyes puffy from crying the entire night while your man was popping bottles at the club with IG (Instagram) "models". You don't have to be smug just because he's "put a ring on it".

story_article_right2

#QuotesFromCelebrities

- Before you post that self-affirming quote from Marilyn Monroe, ask yourself this: could this gorgeous bombshell really have taken time out of her busy life of presidential affairs, reading scripts, numbing herself with pills and potions ... could she really have had the time and the presence of mind to pose philosophical questions as deep as Socrates's? Could she? Really?

#20Sweet16

 - every year, just after Christmas, we are subjected to these inane, kitschy declarations tinged with a dose of desperate wishful thinking. In 2014 we had #20ForMe. This year was supposed to be #20FitMeIn and now we have #20Sweet16. They are all accompanied by equally futile challenges, like #100DaysOfBeingNice to others. This coming year, can we please stop embarrassing ourselves by jumping on to every New Year hashtag trend, then posting passive-aggressive quotes when people call us out on it two months down the line? OKthanksbye.

#Ziright'igirls

 - A curious thing happened around about the time South Africa was observing the annual 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children. This hashtag blew up in such a big way that even Nando's made a parody of it. Until then, this sexist wisecrack, which means "Are the girls OK?", had been an inner-circle joke among political fat cats and business movers and shakers when they gathered in the dark confines of clubs like Cubana and Taboo with a posse of "models" meant to make them look good.

Like most patriarchal sentiments that come cloaked in the guise of a joke, it went from funny to insulting in a blink. The chicken franchise should have stayed away from this flaming mess.

story_article_left3

#Balling (living the good life)

- Because you are sitting in the VIP section taking pics with sponsored bottles of booze? Phuleeze!

#AKAvsCassper

 - Stop, just stop. It's enough now; you've both milked it dry.

Between the twars (Twitter wars) and the nightclub bitchslap that rapper AKA served to his musical nemesis Cassper, this beef gave us something to cackle about during world event lulls.

But even the tabloids have got bored with this infantile, never-ending fight. AKA, you're making your mark around the African continent and recently cracked the UK radio market; and Cassper, you made history by being the first local artist to fill a 20,000-capacity venue for his own show.

Enjoy your success and leave the beef - manufactured or not - behind in 2015.

Remember, it didn't end well for 2Pac and Biggie.