Scenes of crying children and overwhelmed parents are familiar on the first day of school as many suffer from separation anxiety.
In Gauteng, hundreds of pupils are expected to start school this week when the 2023 academic calendar starts on Wednesday.
Educational psychologist Penelope Tyawa shared tips with TimesLIVE to help children and parents deal with separation anxiety on the first day of school.
SPEAK TO THEM
“What causes anxiety for children is being in an unfamiliar setting with people they do not know,” Tyawa explained.
She said while children might not know how to fully express themselves, they understand language well and speaking to them about the first day of school will help prepare them to adjust and lessen anxiety.
“Parents should explain that ‘tomorrow you will be in this place and it is a school and you will meet different people. I will drop you and come to fetch you’. Saying this in a fun manner helps them with adjusting.”
Tyawa said showing children pictures of the school also helps minors not to fear the change too much.
“Parents should let children fantasise about what they wish for in school and ask what they think will happen, how they will make friends and what games they will play.
“They can ask children what they want to become, and tell them the first day of school is one step to get to what they want to become.”
DON'T TRANSFER YOUR FEARS
Tyawa cautioned parents to be aware not to transfer their own fears to children.
“If a parent is fearful of heights, often when heads toward a balcony the parent runs and grabs the child out of fear. Caution is important but how that is expressed should not scare the child extremely. This is important in the school journey.”
Before leaving a child at the school parents should speak to them, make eye contact and drop down to their height as this would help boost confidence in minors, she said.
“By looking at their eyes you are transferring confidence and reducing your own anxiety.”
ACCEPT THERE MAY BE TEARS
She said parents should accept there are children who panic and may be inconsolable for the first few days at school.
“If your child is crying inconsolably for two hours at school, it is important to fetch them because if you do not you will instill more fear in the child.”
Reassuring and explaining why school is important to children after a meltdown was important to help children cope.
“Asking what it is that they do not like is vital. Based on what they say parents can address those fears,” Tyawa said.
TRUST THOSE LOOKING AFTER YOUR CHILD
Trusting the caregivers and teachers taking care of children helps parents to calm their own fears.
TimesLIVE
Support independent journalism by subscribing to the Sunday Times. Just R20 for the first month.
How to deal with first day of school anxiety — for parents and kids
Scenes of crying children and overwhelmed parents are familiar on the first day of school as many suffer from separation anxiety.
In Gauteng, hundreds of pupils are expected to start school this week when the 2023 academic calendar starts on Wednesday.
Educational psychologist Penelope Tyawa shared tips with TimesLIVE to help children and parents deal with separation anxiety on the first day of school.
SPEAK TO THEM
“What causes anxiety for children is being in an unfamiliar setting with people they do not know,” Tyawa explained.
She said while children might not know how to fully express themselves, they understand language well and speaking to them about the first day of school will help prepare them to adjust and lessen anxiety.
“Parents should explain that ‘tomorrow you will be in this place and it is a school and you will meet different people. I will drop you and come to fetch you’. Saying this in a fun manner helps them with adjusting.”
Tyawa said showing children pictures of the school also helps minors not to fear the change too much.
“Parents should let children fantasise about what they wish for in school and ask what they think will happen, how they will make friends and what games they will play.
“They can ask children what they want to become, and tell them the first day of school is one step to get to what they want to become.”
DON'T TRANSFER YOUR FEARS
Tyawa cautioned parents to be aware not to transfer their own fears to children.
“If a parent is fearful of heights, often when heads toward a balcony the parent runs and grabs the child out of fear. Caution is important but how that is expressed should not scare the child extremely. This is important in the school journey.”
Before leaving a child at the school parents should speak to them, make eye contact and drop down to their height as this would help boost confidence in minors, she said.
“By looking at their eyes you are transferring confidence and reducing your own anxiety.”
ACCEPT THERE MAY BE TEARS
She said parents should accept there are children who panic and may be inconsolable for the first few days at school.
“If your child is crying inconsolably for two hours at school, it is important to fetch them because if you do not you will instill more fear in the child.”
Reassuring and explaining why school is important to children after a meltdown was important to help children cope.
“Asking what it is that they do not like is vital. Based on what they say parents can address those fears,” Tyawa said.
TRUST THOSE LOOKING AFTER YOUR CHILD
Trusting the caregivers and teachers taking care of children helps parents to calm their own fears.
TimesLIVE
Support independent journalism by subscribing to the Sunday Times. Just R20 for the first month.
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