SA men, couch critics and fairytale endings: why we love dating shows

SA loves to be entertained. And we need it — the state of the nation address was more stressful than funny this year, the strength of the rand is no joke, and SAA and Eskom are somehow still dealing with the same old drama. More specifically, we love to laugh at ourselves. Well ... at each other. 

If you’re looking for fresh giggles this week, look no further than the next episode of Dinner Date SA. It’s back for a second season, and We. Are. Ready.

The rules are simple: A single guy or gal will pick three out of five fellow food lovers to have dinner with, based on what they think of the three-course menus they have presented. Depending on how those dinners go, a match is made. In theory, they go on a few more dates and live happily ever after. In reality? Not so much.

By now you’ve met Jaymal in episode one of the new season. He describes himself as a funny golfer, and adventurous when it comes to food but also says his favourite foods are wholesome family meals from a really big pot. He’s very polite, but I’m immediately suspicious.

We then met the lovely ladies hoping to find love with the funny golfer. I want the kind of confidence Bernice has — she calls herself simple, but also crazy, and jokes about a split personality right before meeting a blind date? 

Hats off, girl. Just like Bernice, Lerato delivers a straightforward introduction: She’s definitely sweet, with very definite ideas about her ideal man. Cool, cool, cool. Lastly, we meet Natalene. She’s sweet too. Everyone is very sweet and friendly ...

But let me stop there and not give it all away, cos you still wanna watch it right?

Let’s quickly talk about the food though ... 

The culinary arts are not everyone’s strong suit, and that’s putting it lightly. The trend of showing off our skills (or a complete lack thereof) has made us refreshingly honest about it.

There are no cries of “shame, they tried their best” when you’re looking at a starter comprising marshmallows and sliced bananas. Yes, that happened in season 1 and no, I’m not over it. Jaymal’s dates all seemed to know what they were doing, or had just enough luck to get by. No overpromising and under delivering. We shall wait to see what happens in episode 2.

If they’re filled with cringeworthy moments, judgy contestants and sometimes scary food, what is it about dating shows that pulls everyone in? Is it the personalities? Tame or wild, cynics or optimists, the people we watch on dating shows are often just like us, or like everyone we’ve met. The craziness dating can bring out is easy to laugh about.

Maybe we love them because we’re nosy. Watching two strangers get to know each other at a dinner table (in front of a camera) is fascinating stuff. We’re the peanut gallery, like the friends who weigh in while you text your crush. Without the group chat’s comments on every screenshot, did it even happen?

Maybe it’s the twists and turns on the way to the finish line. Dating shows play out like games, with rules that help things along in an interesting way. Participants are thrown together, for better or worse, and it works because even if the rules aren’t real, the people are. So much of what’s out in the world about love is fiction, but dating shows are filled with real people taking real risks, with a camera rolling and a nation watching.

At the end of the day, I think that laughing, crying, or cringing, we love what’s real, and we love love! Just think of how we rallied in support of the #KFCProposal — we followed along for days. We were entertained, yes, but we were also emotionally invested in their happiness.

We love the chase, the stumbles and the victory, because we’ve been there. We love the epic fails because they remind us that everyone is figuring this out as they go along, and that more importantly, a few bad dates are not the end of the world. And if things don't work out, we’re all ready to lend you our hope that they might, if you try again. After a good laugh, that is. 

‘Dinner Date SA’ S2 on BBC Lifestyle (DStv channel 174) every Wednesday at 8pm, and also available on DStv Catch Up.

This article was paid for by BBC Lifestyle.