She Says ...

The Bayerische Motoren Werke AG has a particular identity.

Whether you love Bimmers or hate them, there's no doubt that they have a style and reputation that clearly distinguish them from other marques.

Oh, and by the way, it's "Bimmer", not "Beemer", in the parlance of the true aficionado.

According to other road users, BMW drivers seem to share common characteristics.

On a return trip from Kwa-Zulu-Natal at the weekend, my driving companion frequently remarked on the irritating habits of BMW drivers.

Either they go too fast or too slowly. They don't have their money ready at the toll gate and they drive up your backside with their brights on.

As a former BMW driver myself, I find this prejudice a little unfair. My first car was a BMW 325i and, as an inexperienced driver, I had no end of motorists screaming "Damn BMW driver!" out of their windows for such innocent transgressions as driving with my fog lights on (who knew?) or taking too long to change lanes (haven't we all?).

In fact, isn't it more likely that drivers of other vehicles notice the BMW among the flotsam and jetsam of the road because of its superior styling and impeccable drive quality, not to mention its well-established identity?

Yes, BMW has an identity. It is defined by its snout-like grille, its predator's stance and its luxuriously crafted interior. It has reliable electronics, advanced on-board computing, comfortable ergonomics and excellent acoustics.

It isn't likely to let you down - an important consideration for a young female on a dark night in Johannesburg. I discovered this when, at the tender age of 19, I traded German reliability for classic Italian individuality, selling my Bimmer for a 1977 Alfa Spider.

At that age, image was more important than substance, and I thought I looked cool in my little vintage Italian sports car.

Needless to say, the cool was short- lived. The Alfa caught fire and burned to a crisp, blackened shell. I spent the rest of my early 20s walking to varsity. But, I digress.

I've grown up with BMWs and they have never disappointed me. When he turned 18, my brother insisted on purchasing a 1960 BMW 1500. It was the first modern BMW with a four-cylinder engine, classic match-box styling, and low waistline with a low-slung engine compartment.

The car bore BMW's signature front grille and a detail that would become a mark of later models. It was a dream to drive, even though (perhaps because) its top speed was 148km/h and, most important, it was delightful to be seen in.

That is something that can't be said about the new BMW 5-series Gran Turismo. The idea was to combine the interior spaciousness of the 7-series with the ample boot space of the 5-series and X5. The result is an undefinable mix between a sedan, an SUV and a hatchback, though the latter term is apparently something of a dirty word back at BMW headquarters.

Designers say that this model has been created from the inside out, which would be fine if practicalities were all that mattered. But appearances do count and the packaging is just as important as the contents.

The Gran Turismo is taller than a 7-series but lower than an X5, creating a sense that, in trying to be a bit of both, the new-look BMW loses some of the typical Bimmer identity. I'm not sure exactly what it is. It has certain BMW traits: despite its weight, it handles exceptionally well, and the steering and brakes do nothing but inspire confidence.

But, as the Latin poet Martial said, "If you can't resolve what you are, in the end you will be nothing."

A good maxim both for the designers at BMW - and for all the rest of us.

The Specs

• Engine: 2993cc, six-cylinder turbo-diesel
• Power: 180kW at 4000rpm
• Torque: 540Nm from 1750 to 3000rpm
• 0-100km/h: 6.9 seconds (claimed)
• Top speed: 240km/h (claimed)
• Fuel consumption: 6.5l/100km (claimed combined)
• Price: From R733000

Ratings

Practicality: 7/10

IT'S a big, comfortable cruiser that places an emphasis on occupant comfort rather than tons of luggage space. It's something you can drive and enjoy every day.

Petrolhead-kudos: 6/10

It may be a weird-looking machine, but the 5GT still comes standard with that legendary BMW driveability. Not the sharpest tool in the Beemer shed, but good enough.

Carbon footprint: 7/10

The carbon levels weigh in at a reasonable 173g/km. However, due to some hard driving over our test period, we could manage a combined fuel economy figure of only 11.8l/100km.

Value for money: 6.5/10

The 5GT comes standard with a fairly generous amount of equipment, but the options list is vast and capable of sending the price soaring.

Pump damage

Optimistically, if you travel an average of 1200km a month, you'll have to fork out about R510.