Justin Gatlin admits he's bothered by his doping taint

As charming as he is controversial, 36-year-old world 100m champion Justin Gatlin says he wants to be remembered as a fighter.

The American addressed a press conference in Pretoria on Wednesday and he never shied away from questions about his doping past, facing them as he faced defeat at the hands of Usain Bolt year after year — until his success at the 2017 world championships in London.

Gatlin admitted how at the 2015 world championships in Beijing, where he went into the 100m final as the favourite, he wept on his way home after Bolt had edged him 9.79sec to 9.80.

“It was hard,” said Gatlin, who competes in the 150m of the Liquid Telecom Grand Prix meet at the Tuks track on Thursday night. “I had a great season in 2015 and losing ... that’s a surreal moment.

Gatlin owned the five fastest times of 2015 — 9.74 to  9.78  — and he’d posted the fastest time of the championships in the semifinals — 9.77 — but he got it wrong in the final.

“Getting in that cab going back to the hotel, I cried because I let myself down.

“I knew I didn’t run my race pattern ... I think I got outside myself and I kind of fed into the hype and  I just felt like when the gun went off, I just wanted to race instead of [being] technical and compete.

“There’s two different things, there’s competing and racing and when the gun went off I just wanted to race. I just wanted to beat him, all the guts and glory instead of being technical ... and precise.”

The American — who cracked jokes with journalists and engaged in playful banter with South African sprinters Akani Simbine and Anaso Jobodwana — spoke about track and field with passion and intellect, like when he described the difference between the 100m and 200m.

“When you run the 100 there’s really no room for error. You have to come into the 100m with a game plan because if you go out in the middle of  a race in the 100m and you start thinking, the race is already done, so you have to commit ...

“But when you do the 200 it’s like playing chess,” said Gatlin, whose best 200m performance was gold at the 2005 world championships.

“You can’t be as excited on the start as in the 100, but ... you’ve got to be able to maintain a certain power and speed output.”

Gatlin has served two doping bans, for amphetamines in 2001 and for steroids in 2006.

“Gatlin Gun”, who won the 2004 Olympic 100m crown with what was then a career-best 9.85, has always maintained his innocence. 

He returned in 2010 at the age of 28 and managed a 100m best of 10.09. In 2011 he lowered it to 9.97 and at the age of 30 in 2012, in the Olympic final, he went 9.79 for bronze.

But the sceptics have become increasingly vocal against the ageing star’s improvements, booing him at the 2016 Rio Olympics and 2017 world championships.

“It’s our job, this is what we do,” he said, explaining how he dealt with their vociferous disapproval. “I don’t take any ill will away from the track or bring it to the track. I just try to be the best athlete I can be.”

He admitted, however,  he was bothered by his doping taint.

“I’m human, so obviously that kind of stuff does affect me as a human being, but as an athlete I have to stay focused . . . that’s what I do.”

Asked what he’d like his legacy to be, Gatlin replied he’d like to be remembered as more than a sprinter.

“I don’t just think of myself as a runner, man. My psyche going into meets, I think of myself as a fighter.

“So I think my legacy is a fighter.”