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Wrong meeting, boss
It is with a heavy quill and a sad heart that Hogarth commits this week's award to the commander-in-chief of the South African armed forces.
For it was he who made a terrible choice this week. As president (of the country), he was scheduled to address a youth day celebration at Orlando Stadium.
As president (of the ANC), he was scheduled to drop into the ANC Youth League conference to secure a public pledge of loyalty from that organisation's increasingly rotund rabble-rouser.
He chose the latter, and when he eventually arrived at Orlando Stadium - three-and-a-half hours late - the youth had left en masse.
Placing political ambition over the people makes you a Mampara, sir.