These SA celebs' babies probably have more Instagram followers than you

Many South Africans have at least one friend in their inventory who modelled for Pampers or Huggies, before they were sufficiently sentient to feel self-conscious about their wrinkly, denuded little bodies being on show.

But, as with most facets of human behaviour today, the emergence of social media platforms such as Instagram and Facebook has magnified the scope of our exposure to the infant elite.

We – and I am shamefully guilty of this – fixate in advance on the prospective names of celebrities’ children; we monitor their metamorphoses from vocal tubers into miniature hominids; and we judge their parents for their excesses and their shortcomings in turn.

Some of this strain of voyeurism must be attributable to primal parental instincts, an impulse not unlike the unthinking tenderness and delight with which we respond to puppies and ducklings toddling in diminutive lines. But there is also something quintessentially contemporary about our cultish surveillance of famous babies. Sure, once upon a time there was Shirley Temple and the Gerber Baby; but now there is a proliferation of children with the kind of Instagram popularity that evades most of the potty-trained proletariat.

South African Sbahle Mzizi boasts a modest 112K followers on her private Instagram account. Her bio indicates that she has presidential aspirations, and she’s often pictured wearing polished Nike ensembles and posing goofily with her mother (left). At the moment, she’s just over seven months old.

The daughter of multitalented entertainer Ntando Duma and rapper Junior De Rocka, Sbahle already had 30,000 followers on her private Instagram account when she was still in utero; and last year, she was named the official ambassador of Cute Kids Baby Nappies (which is apt, since she really is unspeakably cute.)

At almost three years old, Zoe Mabalane is a pro at taking selfies. The charismatic toddler of Kwaito star Kabelo Mabalane and actress Gail Mabalane might not be entirely steady on her feet, but she does have a steady following of no less than 18,300 people on Instagram.

One-year-old Shaka Madida got a personal private Instagram account when he was one month old, and has since accrued a following of more than 22,000 people.

Baby Remo Kunene, son of business man Kenny Kunene, often shows off his designer wardrobe on Instagram; his account has a following of 14,000 people.

And these enormous audiences – which begin to seem inversely proportionate to the children’s one-digit ages – are actually rather modest, in relation to those of some American celebutots.

So there is clearly something about the children of celebrity that continues to appeal to our imaginations. Is it that we assume that some aspect of their parents’ mystique will have been transferred to them, genetically? Or is it, rather, that parenthood is the most humanising lens through which to re-view our idols, and bring their lives into some kind of meaningful relationship with our own?

In any event, the baby album is dead; long live Instagram, and the infants that reign there.