Sex Talk: Why does my wife only want sex around her period?

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng answers your sex questions

Q: My wife only seems to enjoy sex around her menstrual period. Is this normal? What about the rest of the month?

A: Sexual desire naturally fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle. For some people, changes in hormonal levels may result in moodiness. As well as this, women may also experience breast tenderness caused by water retention, bloating, headaches, lower abdominal or back ache, cravings for sugary snacks and many other symptoms.

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For many women, these symptoms may remain present through menstruation.

These manifestations are collectively referred to as the premenstrual syndrome, and may happen at the same time as ovulation in the second half of the cycle.

The desire for sex around ovulation is a known and recognised part of a normal cycle. It is not commonly spoken of outside of relationships people perceive as safe (partly because sexual pleasure of women often and unnecessarily gets conflated with morality, sin and lust).

Many women are able to notice a difference - or surge - in their desire for sex at certain times in their cycle. However, this does not always result in more sex as some of the other changes can cause discomfort that turns women off.

The interplay and resulting fluctuations of estradiol, progesterone and testosterone result in a hormonal orchestra and the desire for sexual activity and pleasure may last well into menstruation.

• Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, DISA Clinic, 011-886-2286, visit safersex.co.za.

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