It's that time of year again in Ficksburg, where spitting the pip is a good thing, writes Lucinda Hooley
'Ficksburg does not have a Woolworths." This is declared, unabashedly, as a pre-emptive answer in the Frequently Asked Questions section of the Cherry Festival's official website, alongside: "Warm anorak, rain gear, sunscreen, boots and a good attitude." (Bethlehem, fairly nearby, does have a Woolworths, but not one with a food section. Real-life Q: "Sorry, where's your food section?" Real-life A: "Bloem.")
So there you have it: Ficksburg, that funny little eastern Free State town adjacent to Lesotho, with a bloody history of Anglo-Boer-Basotho wars and South Africa's only border post that is in an actual town, is 200km from Bloemfontein (and a Woolies Food).
Yip: Ficksburg where, to the naked eye, for 51-and-a-half weeks of the year, it's pretty much all about farming and cross-border trade (and the shops that stock the stuff these people need, and the workshops that service the vehicles that they use) ... not unlike a mining town elsewhere, really, except that here the cherries are the gold.
Tart or sweet, they're brats, those cherries: the private-school kids in the national fruit salad, pampered and cosseted from youth to fertility, cultivated at just the right temperature for just the right number of hours in a season. Hand-picked and hand-packed, they tolerate other local produce (the humble apple, the abject apricot, the prudent peach) as one might one's poor relations. They are the vermillion jewels in the fruit crown.
Hauling in prices per kilogram that nearly rival those of mineral resources (Julius: note to self), they are also the magnet that compels droves of otherwise urban sophisticates to become cherry-pickin', pip-spittin' country folk for three days in November, every year.
Celebrating its 44th anniversary in 2011, the Cherry Festival is South Africa's oldest crop fair. In Ficksburg and surrounding towns, accommodation is booked out months in advance (but you can still find a bed, if you know a local, or strike it lucky by enquiring in the same minute that someone else cancels).
The main festival is at the town's show grounds, where Miss Cherry Blossom and Mr Cherry Pip will be crowned. Workshops and demonstrations include goose-plucking, painting, wine- and liqueur-tasting, ribbon embroidery, cooking with cherries, wedding planning (yes, that's what the programme says), cocktail-making, perfume and essential oils, and herb planting and care.
The arts and crafts marquee is always an intense (and, if it's raining, steamy) experience, with everything you can think of, cherry-related, from belly rings to bumper stickers. (I once found a cherry-patterned licence-disc holder there.)
And then of course there are the actual cherries. These are flogged - with gusto - along all the roads leading into the town, as well as in and around the festival areas. There are cherry-orchard tours involving tractor rides, DIY picking and a peek at the packing sheds, with liqueur for the brave.
Juicing up pavements throughout the town, the event offers diverse experiences. For an arty time, make a turn at Die Blikplek, where organic cheeses, asparagus quiche, cherry cheesecake, cupcakes, rusks, ice cream, milkshakes and cocktails are sold amid paraphernalia made from rusted pressed ceilings and enamel bowls.
There will be live music and craft stalls, plus an art exhibition and fashion show in the gardens around the fountain, where you can sit and sip local cherry wine.
Live performers this year are rumoured to include Nataniël, Manie Jackson, Andriette Norman, Monique, Snotkop, Ray Dylan, DansDans Lisa, the ABBA Magic Show and a much-loved local duo, Hensie & Denzel, on electric violin and guitar.
There will be sheep-shearing demos and horse-breed showcases. And, for the sporty, there's a 23km race, a 4.8km fun run, a mountain-bike challenge, a golf tournament and several 4x4 "ride-and-drives". Other adventures include tours of the art galleries and trips through nearby asparagus fields.
THE ABSA FICKSBURG CHERRY FESTIVAL NOVEMBER 17 TO 19, 2011 www.cherryfestival.co.za