Mon Oct 24 20:17:43 CAT 2016

Women turn into sex adventurers

BOBBY JORDAN | 12 June, 2011 00:130 Comments

Image by: Sam Norval

South African women are becoming more adventurous in bed - and the fun doesn't stop there.

Intimate toys, online flirting, role-play fantasies and pubic grooming have scored top marks in a new sex survey of over 1350 men and women by Men's Health and Women's Health magazines.

While women are becoming bolder with their bodies, men, at last, seem more willing to talk about their feelings. And they're demanding more old-fashioned romance from their partners.

Over 60% of men polled say they want to be "seduced" by their partner and expect more effort from women. The days of "just lying there" are over for men and women alike if lovers want to score top marks, the survey suggests. Experts said the results showed that South Africans were becoming more discerning in the art of love - and were losing patience with those who thought "a good time" was a chick flick and a bottle of cabernet sauvignon.

Detailed survey results are due to be released this week in both magazines.

Women's Health editor Kate Wilson said: "What will surprise readers is that the revelations from women were more adventurous and less reticent than the male respondents. It is great to see that SA women have moved that much closer to knowing what they want and how to get it."

More than half of the women said they were "open" to sex toys, and over a third to pornography. Other interests included role-playing (28%), public sex (21%), video-taping (16%) and spanking (12%). Almost half of the men and women were keen on spicing up bedroom antics with role-playing, particularly the "stranger" fantasy (pretending to make love to a third party).

Men were less open to sex toys, but more determined to be seduced by their partners and achieve an emotional connection during sex . Men felt women needed to initiate sex more often and communicate more.

The survey found that men and women would like more sex, if only their partners would stop making the same basic mistakes, such as too much facial hair or too little kissing.

The survey revealed several other similarities between men and women:

  • Both sexes prefer sex to last about 20 minutes, rather than longer;
  • Half of all respondents have been unfaithful at some point;
  • 50% of women and 48% of men want sex two or three times a week;
  • 24% of men and 19% of women would prefer sex every day; and
  • Buttocks are the most important physical attribute to men and women, with genitals among the least important.

The survey found that only 17% of men think their partners have ever faked orgasm, whereas 67% of women say they have, and that 31% of men masturbate two or three times a week compared with only 14% of women.

The most common complaints by women were that men are too rough (26%); don't shave (22.1%); are not persistent enough (21.8%); have bad rhythm (19.9%); are too gentle (13%); and can't find the clitoris (9%).

Complaints by men included that women "just lie there" (34%); never initiate sex (21%); don't communicate (21%); lack imagination (19%); don't use their tongue (26%); and ignore the testicles (16%).

Professor Elna McIntosh, president of the sub-Saharan Africa Society of Sexual Health, said: "Women have come into their own and are probably far more sexually demanding today than they were.

"The reality is that, in 2011, men are stressed out and they don't want sex every 26 seconds. Nobody has kept up with their side. I think it is important that we acknowledge that men also get tired and are not light switches."

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