John Vlismas on mass hysteria, being a psychopath, and cotton wool

John Vlismas is described as the most offensive person in South Africa, but he says it isn’t true.

“Maybe it is,” he says, “but the point is I don’t go out to offend, but prove the idea of being offended is flawed.

“All you need to be offended is a bit of bigotry in your system. If you're a bigot - and I'm not saying you're bad - I'm old enough to understand that everyone has been raised with some form of prejudice – you will be offended.”

Vlismas is part of this year’sMass Hysteria comedy show, which takes place from August 6 to 9 at the Teatro in Montecasino, and this year, he’s the Public Attacker.

“If comedy had a parliament what would it look like? That's where the idea came from.”

In the show, the comedians represent ministers of the comedy parliament, and each brings their own flavor and personality.

“I’m increasingly seen as the aggressive one. Hence I'm Public Attacker,” Vlismas says.

“Thuli [Madonsela, Public Protector} has become a hero, and I am happy to have the title of anti-hero.

“Telling the truth will always make you the anti-hero. We live in a strange cottonwool cloud in South Africa of lattes and everything's fine. It's not fine.”

Basically, Vlismas’ job is to “crap all over the public”.

“All of my new material is about how as South Africans we are always pointing at other people, saying it's their fault. I say no it's actually our fault.

“If we were better citizens, perhaps we would be a better country. It’s full of non-black people constantly telling black people to get over this whole apartheid thing. It was around for a long time so it's gonna take a long time to fix, and I think people have to be more understanding.”

Vlismas doesn’t hold back in saying there's this “typical white mood” that once you switch power, everything is fine.

“No. We are a deeply racist country and people don't want to talk about it. It's not a popular opinion, hence I am Public Attacker.”

He says as a country we want world cups and Madiba and cottonwool.

“We don't want truth. It's shit. It's deep fucking problems here.”

On a lighter note, Vlismas says Madonsela, kind of his antithesis, is lovely.

“I don't know how she's still alive. She's a fucking trooper. She’s got so much work to do… Every five minutes she's gotta do a new report or investigation. She's just swamped.

“It’s like they've decided to bury her in work if they can't bury her herself physically. She's cool.”

Every year Mass Hysteriais theme driven. This year, Whacked Entertainment is bringing a West Wing smart politician type of feel.

Vlismas says they look at the comedians and figure out where they fit, and the material is more and more around government and portfolios.

“We make sure material doesn't overlap.

“Each comedian has a specific style. We don't have similar comics and we work quite hard on how we put it together and it comes down to the comics.”

This year, he says, they are working with a strong cast.

“Chester Missing, Minister of Non-Human Settlements, is highly political and a known commentator. Nik Rabinowitz, Minister of Mental Health, Sunday Lunch and Personal Hygiene, is just mad.

“Alan Committiee, Minister of Headucation and Literasy, has a theatre background. Ndumiso Lindi, Minister of Culture, is a strong Xhosa man with a strong mindset.

Joey Rasdien also joins the mix as Minister of Haircare, Promiscuity and Arts, and Mpho Popps is Minister of Single Fathers and Roads.

“Hopefully the audience gets a nice mix. What's important is it's one of the few big casts who go into a proper theatre. That make s a huge difference. 

The way the audience is seated is important, Vlismas says.

The Teatro is designed on classical lines and the team worked on creating a political rally-type scenario.

“The government seems to spend so much on them and we’re doing it at a fraction of the cost. Probably because we don't use he tender system.”

Theatre, Vlismas says, is escapism.

“Look at negativity in South Africa - strikes, Marikana, Nkandla, e-tolls, service delivery, petrol prices, inflation... There's a lot of negative stuff and sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh at it. Laugh or die.”

He says we come from a difficult past and that's the best place for comedy to be born.

“I always say the best comedy happens where it's needed most. You don't have comedy in a content society… I find in the wealthy areas, comedy isn't as needed. Our tough past has created a quality audience.”

Vlismas is known for ripping the public to shreds in his comedy and he says all he likes to do is shock and smash barriers of conditioning.

“Once people realise were all idiots in the same boat, we can have quality moments.

“I'm not making fun of that person I pick on in the audience. I just try to prove that we all have something about us and when that person starts laughing with everyone, you have a beautiful comedy audience.

“We're all flawed. I would never look at a fat guy and say you're fat. I'd pick on the model because we don't do it enough. We worship people. W need to kill our heroes. Not literally, of course.”

Vlismas says he doesn’t understand hero worship and questions why we care about Oscar and Reeva

“I don't understand the fuss. Is it because it's a white person who killed a white person? A legless hero who shot a model?

“Suddenly it’s a huge story. How is it different to the townships or poor white areas?

All it is, is a huge fucking fashion show. We don't give a fuck about the layman. We are hypocritical as a society and comedy helps because comics don't allow that.

“We're all under scrutiny, including myself. I like a dangerous setup.”

Vlismas puts himself under the spotlight as well, and he says he’s a psychopath.

“Because I was raised to believe that black people were dangerous, incompetent and evil; then my parents left me with one when they went to work.

“Which to me encapsulates what my comedy is about. What is African time? White people only can invent this time thing where you're late but you're slave. What idiot would be on time for their own oppression?”

He says comedy is healthy for the mind. “You can't take yourself too seriously.” 

Vlismas was recently caught up in a battle of words with washed-up former journalist David Bullard over a rape issue raised on Twitter.

Vlismas called him out in an open letter on being a rape-sympathiser, and he says he just had enough of him.

“Bullard represents the kind of people who are delaying democracy… We are now dealing with the real cost of apartheid and our government is immature. We need time.

“Bullard sits in a little vineyard housing scheme with a little bit of money and hurls abuse like an old man telling kids to get off his lawn.

“I've never met Michelle Solomon [the rape survivor Bullard attacked on Twitter].

“His treatment of her is unacceptable. Whatever happened to her, I don't know but he’s using this as his Twitter comeback and it’s ugly and cowardly.

“I had to say something. We're trying to build a country here. He gets in the way of that, and in calling him out, I was trying to say what many were thinking. It’s all bullshit, but it’s true at the same time.” 

Vlismas says great comics articulate what the world is thinking.

“We just put it out there. The meanest eye in the courtroom is the jester. He gets away with it so he says it like it is.”

Viciously honest, brutally politically incorrect, hilariously funny and humbly grateful for his success, Vlismas is one of those comedians who hold the view that comedy is not about the comic.

“It's not about the glory. It's about the words.”