Orlando - the new Saigon

The parallels between the US's invasion of Vietnam and the Blue Bulls' invasion of Soweto are, quite frankly, alarming.

In 1965, US troops fanned out across the Ho Chi Minh trail. In 1985, South African troops, many of them Bulls supporters, fanned out across the township.

President Lyndon Johnson entered the war to prevent a communist takeover of South Vietnam. President PW Botha, a Bulls supporter, entered the war to prevent a communist takeover of South Africa.

Johnson had Ngo Dinh Diem, a conservative autocrat who led the anti-communists of South Vietnam. Botha had Mangosuthu Buthelezi, a conservative autocrat who led the anti-communists of the IFP hostels.

President Gerald Ford capitulated to the communists when he realised he couldn't win the war. President FW de Klerk, a Bulls supporter, did the same.

Tears flowed when the last American was airlifted out of Saigon. Tears flowed when the last Blue Bulls supporter staggered out of Soweto. Tears of joy, tears of relief.

Thousands of American GIs were reported missing in action. It later emerged that many of them had fallen in love with local women and were living in villages around the country.

While almost all of the Blue Bulls supporters were accounted for after yesterday's final against the Stormers at Orlando Stadium, Marietjie van Gemsbok of Brakpan said her husband had not returned home.

"Ag, I'm not worried. They will find him getting vrot in a shebeen. I know he won't run off with a darkie," she said. "Kobus likes his dop, but not so much the blecks. He used to go to Soweto when he was in the army, so it's nice him being there and not having to kill anybody."

Some people think that when South Africa won the 1995 rugby world cup, black and white united like never before. What rubbish. Invictus, my ass. The two Super 14 games played in Soweto have done far more to cement race relations. Everyone was expecting Victor Matfield to be a latter-day Piet Retief and the stadium the equivalent of Dingane's kraal. I certainly was.

Now I'm going to make a movie about the day rugby forced hardened racists to mingle with hardened criminals and how everyone lived happily ever after.

I shall call it Convictus.